Vertical filming, putting music into videos when you could just use silence

I’ve read the lemmy.world responses, and they’re all predictably trash. The real answer is there’s no good way to tell if someone’s a kid because they’re plenty of mature 12 year olds and plenty of dipshit adults with poor writing skills (ie boomers). To rephrase the question, what is a dead giveaway that someone is actually not a kid?

1. They talk about mid- to low-tier shows that your average zoomer wouldn’t know about. So someone talking about The Simpsons or Batman: The Animated Series doesn’t mean much, but someone talking about Biker Mice from Mars or Extreme Dinosaurs means they’re some millennial.

2. They namedrop social media sites that no longer exist. Remember Xanga and Vine?

3. They complain about body problems. Knees that feel funny before it rains. Bad back. Nose hair that never stops growing. And so on.

4. They demonstrate an understanding on how old and obsolete technology works (typewriters, payphones, VCR, floppy disks, Limewire, DOS, modems, Blackberries). Like, average zoomers don’t know how to use those map guides that are in the form of a book.

5. They remember how the pre-modern web was like or life before the web was like. Someone who’s <18 years old was born after 2006, when the modern web was still being build.

6. They remember ancient memes and fads that are obscure enough that it isn’t some zoomer looking up random memes on knowyourmeme.

7. They’re horribly out of touch with what kids enjoy. Notice this is different from passing judgment on what kids enjoy because they’re plenty of things I thought was stupid when I was a kid. But when you say shit like “only 13 year olds like Tiktok” or “only kids like Minecraft” yeah you’re just out of touch.

Not sure if it’s the case anymore, but strong opinions were matched with EQUALLY STRONG STYLISTIC CHOICE!!!, often coupled with poor grammar/spelling, and a tendency to lean more towards rehashing the same opinion rather than making a rational argument for it.

When someone asks what’s a dead give away someone is a kid, it tells me they’re not old enough to remember the ASL days.

I can’t say there is one. Every time i think to myself something like “goddamn, this person is immature” I remind myself that there’s a high number of immature adults in the world including myself, so…?

Excessive swearing, as if they just learned how to say “fuck”.

Not that any damn amount of fucking swearing means they are are a young fucker, but you can fucking tell when you read that shit and they manage nine goddamn swear words in one fucking sentence you know they’re a young bitch who aren’t allowed to swear any other damn time.

the gettier problem

Alpha / Beta male noise. Ok kiddo we get it, you’re insecure

For me personally the first tell is when they are morally loading every statement in an argument and are unable to engage with a topic directly. Adults should be able to discuss or debate certain topics on the value of the arguments alone without feeling pressured to include a declarative virtue signal in every clause.

I’m actually gonna give the benefit of the doubt and assume this is actually a grown idiot lol

Short of a birth year in their username, I’m not sure there is one. Almost everything in this thread is something millennials inflict on me daily.

I remember reading that when national parks tried to make a ‘bear-proof’ trashcan, they found that there was a larger overlap between the smartest bear and the stupidest human to make a viable product.

I feel like it’s a similar situation here. The smartest kid and the stupidest adult are far more similar than we’d like to admit.

When they’re adamant that voting third party in the United States will be useful in some capacity, I assume they’re 13

Asking basic questions that can usually be answered with internet experience (“how do bans/kicks work”, or “what is an administrator”, “what is LAN” etc.)

Flaunting “new” features that existed on older products. (“This game let’s us upload our own music to soundtrack!”, “I’ve never seen a platformer like this” etc.)

Their usernames are the random ones proposed by the platform, such as Lazy_Platform_34.