Hey, we’re just asking questions.
Reminds me that Zelensky’s initial cause of popularity (the one that got him in the show casting him as the president of Ukraine) was from a ‘Ukraine’s got talent’ like show where he played the piano with his penis.
I believe the preferred nomenclature is couch botherer
Couch roommate.
Step-couch what are you doing?
Headlines from our current era that would totally baffle people just 10/20/30 years ago.
Naw. They’ve already come across rule 34.
They’ll just assume we’re freaks, like everyone else
Because it was actually a loveseat.
True is it was a futon… But since futons can “transform” JD could never admit to sleeping with something “trans”
You win the internet today 1000%.
…to completion…
It does seem like an oddly specific denial.
With how it’s worded, it could even imply that he did reach completion, just that he was too selfish to help the couch get there.
And the next sentence is ‘That is a lie.’
Is this calling the claim of his bad couch loving a lie, or his previous sentence where he denied it?
I mean can anyone prove he didn’t or hasn’t?
Maybe not, but it’s out there apparently and the Internet is fueled by <60 second attention spans.
Everyone keeps saying JD fucked the couch but I know the true story… JD got raw dogged by the couch. Let’s just say, calling him a tight ass is no longer literal.
My wife told me that story and I instantly went “That sounds fake, why would he admit that in a book?”
It wouldn’t have been the weirdest confession in a book.
This story did not go through our standard editing process and has been removed.
It seems AP are cowards. They’ve removed the article.
They probably received a damning statement from the couch.
No it’s funnier - they factually don’t know if he did or not. They can, however, factually claim that he didn’t write it in his book.
Devon Nunez cow had to get involved.
No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch
Sounds like something some one who had sex with a couch would say.
Technically it wasn’t sex.
That was what he said. To get out of child support payments.
Those poor little footstools are gonna have a hard life when they become chase lounges.
Especially because they’re ugly.
The eyeliner helps though.
Won’t someone think of the ottoman?
Ok, raped a couch. I doubt it could consent.
No, JD Vance did not fuck a couch.
A couch fucked JD Vance. There’s not a chance in hell he’s the pitcher.
🤣
I think you have to write “JD Vance did not have sex with a couch once” or else it’s potentially libel.
Not within the last five years, anyway.
