• Tiger666@lemmy.ca
    13·
    2 天前

    Some men don’t wash their asses because they think it’s gay.

    They don’t wash their asses and think that is not a problem.

    Homophobia is literally disgusting.

  • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
    7·
    2 天前

    I’m a straight man that went to a gay bar with a bunch of lesbian friends and got hit on by a very feminine gay man. He like the way I dressed and how well I was put together.

    It was such a confidence boost and made me very happy.

  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
    16·
    2 天前

    One of my coworkers loved to make “i bet so-and-so is gay, look at how he does stuff” joke remarks. I once had the chance to joke back: “Dunno man, you spend a LOT of time thinking about how he’s gay, you’re always paying attention to him, you’re always talking about him, that’s pretty gay of you” - That made him stop with those while I’m around, at least.

    • REDACTED@infosec.pubEnglish
      13·
      2 天前

      Whenever I hear a homophobe in real life start talking about gays, I usually just say “Since I’m not gay, I don’t mentally think about what other men do in bed or with their dicks, but you do you”. Sounds better in my language, I’m sure you can make it sound more punchy

      • Alaknár@sopuli.xyzEnglish
        6·
        2 天前

        I’m 99% certain that homophobia stems from dudes being gay/bi but brought up in a “conservative” environment, so there’s a clash between what they secretly want and what they perceive as wrong.

      • ebolapie@lemmy.world
        1·
        2 天前

        “You sure talk about men a lot…”

        I didn’t say anything about your sexuality, I’m just wondering if you have any other hobbies besides thinking about men.

  • OmegaMouse@pawb.social
    126·
    3 天前

    Nothing makes me want to suck dick more than seeing someone put a bottle into the correct recycling bin :3

    • papasan_mamasan@lemmy.world
      411·
      3 天前

      It also makes you more appealing to women but the men don’t know that because Joe Rogan won’t invite a woman on his podcast to talk about it

          • Almacca@aussie.zoneEnglish
            1·
            2 天前

            Is he? That’s a shame. I haven’t seen any of his recent stuff, but what little I’ve seen of him I’ve always enjoyed. What happened?

            • Zombie@feddit.uk
              2·
              2 天前

              I don’t know how to say this without doxxing myself so I guess all I can really say is some of his latest material borders on bigotry but doesn’t go far enough for you to be sure, and it could just be an ill thought out edgy routine. But I’ve spent a night drinking with him, and it’s not an edgy routine.

        • socsa@piefed.socialEnglish
          31·
          3 天前

          I mean, you suck a dick that’s just one dick. You kiss a woman, and you are kissing every dick which has ever been in that mouth.

    • socsa@piefed.socialEnglish
      6·
      3 天前

      Fellas, is it gay to ingest external stimuli to guide your personal decision making framework?

    • frunch@lemmy.world
      61·
      3 天前

      At very least, giving a shit makes you “woke” and the intent is the same as when they use gay as a slur (at least as far as i can follow their logic)

  • Hylactor@sopuli.xyz
    67·
    3 天前

    This for me is the weird cishet paradox. So afraid to look “weak”, that they obsess over not looking weak. But you know what looks super weak? Being insecure about being weak. Like, the more you have to prove you’re a big tough guy, the less big and tough you seem.

    Also, I feel like they’ve never considered that gay doesn’t necessarily mean effeminate. Or even that effeminate doesn’t necessarily mean weak/meek.

    • OrteilGenou@lemmy.world
      20·
      3 天前

      Yeah, in the 1950s you were a big tough guy if you wore all leather and had tattoos.

      Now you might be a tough biker dude, sure, or you might be a power bottom with a kink.

    • FishFace@piefed.socialEnglish
      14·
      3 天前

      I think you’re imagining this as a more conscious process than it actually is. The reason you need to go out and research this is because these men aren’t going around saying, “yeah, I was going to put my pepsi can in the metal recycling but I was worried my bro would call me gay so I just put it in the general waste.” Instead, sometimes men put pepsi cans in general waste, and sometimes men do things due to social perceptions, and sometimes those social perceptions are that certain things are “unmanly” and working out which things are related to each other is quite hard.

      So there’s no paradox here. All people are subject to social pressures, and the vast majority of people make some effort to conform to those pressures in order to fit in and to receive approval from the people they value. Conforming to fit in isn’t “weak” or “insecure”, it’s the nature of being a social animal, and is done instinctively - if you think it’s done “obsessively” then you’re imposing the analytical mindset of someone studying the evidence on the subjects of the research, which is a fundamental error. It’d be like saying someone who subconsciously mirrors the mannerisms of someone they respect is “obsessed” with getting their approval, when they likely don’t realise they’re doing it.

      Also, I feel like they’ve never considered that gay doesn’t necessarily mean effeminate. Or even that effeminate doesn’t necessarily mean weak/meek.

      They almost certainly haven’t because, again, if you’re “considering” it, it’s not the right concept. The concept that people are trying to avoid is the one that’s labeled “gay” by their peers, which is really more of a gender thing than a sexuality thing; “what are you, gay?” isn’t a question about someone’s sexuality, it’s a suggestion that someone is not conforming to the gender role expected of them. You can’t successfully challenge that by saying “ackshually gay people can be v strong and they forget to put the pepsi can in the correct bin far more often than you might imagine.” They’ll just reply with, “OK bro sounds pretty gay,” because you didn’t challenge them on what they meant, only on what you thought they meant.

      The challenge has to be more along the lines of creating a better awareness of societal expectations, tolerance of people who don’t conform to them, and building up positive associations between behaviours we want to promote and conforming things people already value, to help them see things in a new light.

    • zarkanian@sh.itjust.works
      1·
      3 天前

      This is all subconscious shit that marketers have to deal with. There’s a good article about it here. What bothers me is not knowing what unconscious biases like this that I have.

      One thing that I do is randomly select varieties of things that I buy (wrt color, scent, etc.) I can’t think of a time that I’ve ever regretted doing that.

    • socsa@piefed.socialEnglish
      22·
      3 天前

      I am convinced that there is legitimately a genetic cognitive deficit which makes people think this way, because it is just so obvious and transparent to me that it can’t be an accident.

  • etherphon@piefed.worldEnglish
    32·
    3 天前

    Men we’ve been scammed, go to the store and look at the completely bland men’s clothing options and then go to the women’s section and look at all the fun they have with all the different colors and styles, it’s really a tragedy.

    • volvoxvsmarla@sopuli.xyz
      2·
      2 天前

      For real man. And it starts so fucking early. My girl can wear a freaking glitter soaked puffy skirt with a flower shirt and something crocheted with beads over it, accompanied with rainbow nail polish to kindergarten, and the boys are wearing… Blue jeans brown shirt. Maaaybe a shark print somewhere. Man, it is so hard to get pretty clothes for little boys. I’ve met some moms who were so fed up they literally learned how to sew and started sewing because everything was so bland for their boys. Buying girl clothes is not really an option either, not only because of the bullying from other kids but also because those clothes are so tight it is crazy. If it were just the patterns… It’s also the tight leggings, tight jeggings, shirts tailored to the waist. So they sew. For now.

      And most retailers really offer such incredibly boring clothes I get depression from just trying to find a tshirt for my husband. You have like 5 colors to choose from and 3 cuts per body half.

      Where I live, university age kids now often dress in expensive vintage. Thank god. I’ve now seen color and fun on guys. Finally. And there is this teenager in the neighborhood who dresses up in black emo core and tights and skirts and paints his face with fake blood and all. I so often want to go to him and just tell him thank you for sticking to your style amidst the conservative neighborhood.

      • etherphon@piefed.worldEnglish
        2·
        2 天前

        Yeah kids clothes are somehow even worse, although I had to wear a catholic school uniform so plain was absolutely mandatory lol. But yeah, there’s really a pretty desolate area, sometimes it feels like they aren’t even designing men’s clothes anymore, I mean I know there’s a lot going on in the world of fashion all the time but that doesn’t seem to trickle down at all anymore, or maybe I’m just wildly out of touch which wouldn’t surprise me. There haven’t been any wild new innovations or trends besides dressing down in general. Note I’m not a huge fan of suits either so I’m not complaining about those going, but nothing replaced them really.

        Right, if I want anything with a lot of color I pretty much have to order from Asian brands, I used to like Uniqlo for that but they’ve since succumbed to the drab and their options are not so great either anymore.

        I always admired the people who stuck with the same style or subculture they identified with since they were teenagers, especially the more physically dramatic ones like goth or punk, they found something they loved and made a choice. I miss my giant phat raver diy stovepipe pants sometimes and now I see they are coming back in style haha, but again mostly for women and only men/boys under 20. There is nothing stopping anyone of course.

      • MintyFresh@lemmy.world
        8·
        3 天前

        Bleh. All those colorful drinks are so loaded with sugars. They look like fun, but get ready for a gnarly hangover. Stick with gin and sodas!

        • cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          21·
          3 天前

          Okay but consider this black leather jacket to go with, or some accessories so you don’t get mistaken for a tech bro. Maybe a mixed fabric panel to show that region you’ve been working out? Vest or unbuttonable portion?

          Or pants of some sort to go with it? Maybe?

          I’m not straight, I dont even like you people, but for fuck’s sake learn to dress yourselves so I dont need to console my (often hot) straight friends or hear their absolutely heartbreaking ‘he used conditioner and owns two pairs of jeans in different styles!’ Exclamations of joy.

          • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
            1·
            2 天前

            No thanks, I’ll keep buying bulk black t-shirts and optionally MAYBE wear a hoodie and switch from shorts to jeans when it’s cold out.

              • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
                2·
                2 天前

                I’m hoping whoever I one day end up with, actually likes my personality not my things or style. To that end, I also now drive an old beater.

                But the clothes are more about efficiency, yes. I have 20 pairs of the same socks too so I don’t have to look for pairs.

                • cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com
                  1·
                  2 天前

                  Style is a display and telegraphing of your personality.¹

                  Also, unless you’re ace, you probably want her to think you’re hot. You know how you like when a lady knows how to clothes good and dresses up and looks really fucking hot?

                  She wants something roughly equivalent, but has given up and dismissed it as fantasy.

                  If you wear something very fancy, it doesn’t just say ‘I am fancy’ it says ‘this is what I think is fancy, and I’m confident enough to wear it around and take the risk’.

                  Like, you wouldn’t expect the same behavior and relationship from punk leather jacket guy, lumberjack, bard, thinks-hes-a-wizard, business-devil, and the guy wearing a silk button down hentai print shirt with a first-Doctor-scarf aviator goggles mirror shined shoes but fully donald-ducking it. Would you?

      • etherphon@piefed.worldEnglish
        5·
        3 天前

        Oh yeah, what the hell, who doesn’t like delicious fruit drinks that get you super wasted? (Besides sober people of course)

  • Blackmist@feddit.ukEnglish
    27·
    3 天前

    I use a reusable bag because I’m not paying an extra 40p every time I go fucking shopping.

  • MoonMelon@lemmy.mlEnglish
    21·
    3 天前

    The Great Male Renunciation is the historical phenomenon at the end of the 18th century in which wealthy men of the Western world stopped using bright colours, elaborate shapes and variety in their dress, which were left to women’s clothing.

  • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    351·
    3 天前

    I just can’t even imagine having such a fragile ego and being so unconfident in my own sexuality, that I would be worried about people thinking I’m gay for using reusable bags.

    Jesus Christ. These are the people who are making everything on this planet worse for the rest of us.

    • FishFace@piefed.socialEnglish
      104·
      3 天前

      Inasmuch as these people have a “fragile ego”, you probably also have a fragile ego. Virtually everyone subconsciously adapts their behaviour to gain the approval of other people whom they value.

      The difference between you and them is not that you have a strong ego and are confident in your masculinity, it’s that you don’t value the views of people who judge people on that basis. And that is certainly no bad thing, but it’s a fundamental difference, and making this error makes it very hard to understand people who are different from you.

      • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        8·
        3 天前

        I don’t have a “strong ego,” I strive to have no ego. Not easy, obviously, but I feel as if I do an alright job.

        How am I making it harder for myself to understand them? I know they’re bigoted, I thought that was a given.

        • FishFace@piefed.socialEnglish
          3·
          3 天前

          At best you can call people who do this as having a very mild form of unconscious bias; you can’t infer bigotry which I would say really ought to be either a consciously-held opinion, or if not then a set of behaviours that has a practical negative outcome.

          I think the kind of person you’re thinking of is a stereotypical bigoted jock who hangs out with his jock-friends and makes homophobic jokes all the time. That person we’re maybe not surprised that they are motivated to avoid doing stuff associated with those outside their gender.

          But I don’t think (and there’s nothing here to suggest) that it is only that kind of person who is so affected. Do you think that someone respectful of gay people, but who grew up in a conservative family and whose father makes comments like that, might not be motivated along the same lines out of a desire to their father? Or is it bigoted to seek the approval of your dad if your dad is a bigot? Even if it’s not done consciously?

      • socsa@piefed.socialEnglish
        1·
        3 天前

        I don’t because I hate everyone and actively avoid human interaction to the point of sabotage. Misanthrope is the only way to be straight. Or I guess pan in my case.

    • Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
      4·
      3 天前

      Oh 100%. I’m doing my part by using this giant Ikea bag I have. Big pride bag. Able to carry an ENORMOUS amount of stuff while being a giant rainbow across the whole thing. Me and my former best friend went to Ikea and bought one when she got a Blahaj and I got a Blavingaad and whatever the Octopus is called. I lovingly refer to the bag as my Baggot. The Whale is called ‘Gay Perry’ and the octopus is ‘Ficus’. I love me some Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.