Such a long title.
Basically I’m wondering if this happens IRL, and how. I’ve heard countless stories of people who hold a grudge against family members /ex partners/ ex friends/ neighbours etc. for years, and they do horrible things to each other. Or maybe just the cold shoulder can be rough especially for such a long time. But not so many stories of people in these situations who suddenly talk things out unexpectedly, out of their own will and not because they kept getting nagged about whatever happened.
I’ve also heard about people who screw up big once, never acknowledge or apologize, then everyone puts the episode behind and moves on. But I’ve never heard about suddenly this person perhaps decades afterwards just actually addressing their screw up and apologizing.
So, have you ever received one of these big, unexpected apologies? Or have you ever apologized for something you did you never thought you would want or dare to apologize for?
Did your “friend” make you feel bad for getting mad at him? Frankly, it doesn’t sound like you owed him an apology at all - and if he didn’t apologise, he absolutely should have done.
When people get justifiably angry because their boundaries have been broken, emotionally abusive bullies often try to make their targets feel bad for “getting emotional”. It’s all an attempt to redirect the fact that they wronged you, not the other way around.
Oh no, he laughed it off like water off of a duck’s back. At this point, I just think of it as a quirk of our relationship. I’m more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, because when push comes to shove, I know he’d have my back. Shit can’t be perfect, but calling it once in a blue helps.
Laughing when someone’s angry at you for something you’ve done isn’t a very positive reaction.
Of course you know your friendship better than we do, but nothing you’ve written makes it sound like you ever owed him an apology.