So. Without trauma dumping, I’ll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What’s a father’s day gift that says “you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay”?
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A plain white gift card with the following text maybe?
Hello father,
today is Father’s Day. As your son I am expected to send you a gift card at least.
This is the gift card.
[Your first and last name]
If you’re REALLY sure that ignoring the day would open the floodgates for retaliation, I’d text him or give a generic card. If he’s just gonna be angry and bitch at you, let him be angry and block his number.
If you’re currently in an abusive situation and possibly in harms way I think this might be beyond Lemmy’s paygrade, since we don’t know what sets him off. But it’s OK to play nice for the short term if it keeps you safe long enough to escape.
I didn’t think Father’s Day gifts were that much of a standard thing. Most I’ve ever done is a text and maybe taking him to dinner or golfing.
So a “happy father’s day” card if you need to get something
A short text the day after Father’s Day. Then you did send something, it just wasn’t timely or appreciative.
That said, I generally send my shitty dad a text on the actual day. It usually just says, “Happy Father’s Day, have a good one.” Last year I forgot to send one and then, when I remembered, chose not to.
TL;DR: do as much or as little as you want.
Drugs from the darknet delivered anonymously.
A blank card.
Best thing though is what others said, nothing.
That sounds like a great gift though.
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Off-brand scented candle set.
It says I don’t know you at all, but here’s your present.
Ooh I like this. Especially since he hates strong smells.
Get something like Bergamont; something so few people actually genuinely like, but smells fancy with a quick whiff. Boring and unexpressive after 30 seconds.
Alternatively, try something like cupcakes or vanilla icing. The kind of candle that would give you a headache.
It’s also practical because the gift is cheap without looking cheap.
I’m sorry to say that I’m speaking from personal experience.
Jean Luc just died a little, inside.
Hm… I wonder if Walmart still has watermelon scented candles. “But dad, it smells just like summer!”
Oh my gosh I had those! They did actually smell good with a quick sniff, but I hated them so much I threw out the rest.
Yeah my wife loved the smell in the aisle, but it got old really fast at home lol
As a bonus, with those cheap candles there’s a decent chance burning them fills his house with toxicity.
Just like him!
A “best dad” mug, but you cross out the “best”
A mug that says “Worst Sperm Donor” with an unactivated or emptied gift card to his favorite store.
Nice
Socks 💯💯
Completely ignoring him for the rest of your life as you find joy in not remembering he exists. The best present.
Some kind of random stuff from the drug store or discount store. Just a “I put minimal expense and effort into getting this.”
Yeah I’ve thought about just doing a few candy bars or something. I think the sunk cost fallacy has kicked in, so I almost want to go higher effort but bad lol
A shit candy bar, some random tube socks, and off-brand hair growth meds
Lol I love it
you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay
To me it sounds like you’re looking for drama
This
Give him a very basic and cheap toolkit you know he already has. Firstly, he already has those tools and secondly he assumes you doubt his ability due to the cheapness of the tools. Like giving a Michelin chef a dollar store copper knife, they’d assume you think they can’t cook.
Something like a 2 pack of a Phillips and flathead screwdriver. So common even non DIY people always have them, and so cheap that they are useless.
Kind of hard to explain but hopefully that gets the pount across.
The same tie you gave him last year.
