Our DnD discord group has a whole ass ‘out of context’ channel. Best decision we’ve ever made, granted half of them is my character, the party clown. Here are some other bangers over the years:
- “She knows how to ride a clippity clop.”
- “Ah so you want it so when you die there’s a magical turfwar over your body.”
- “the horse is a horse…i dont think he understands the concepts”
- “It’s not Delivery, it’s Human Trafficking!”
- “Don’t tell my dad I died for toenails”
- “It’s pulsating. It shouldn’t be because it’s a fucking rock.”
- “Jesus Christ! I mean… Bahamut Jr!”
- “There was a scary forest!” “SCARY FOREST IS NOT AN ANSWER”
- “That’s Renn! He’s like a dead squirrel.”
- “Who wants to do coke with the illithid?”
- “I agree, other voice in my head.”
- “When a corpse bee and another corpse bee love each other and don’t dance…”
- “I emotionally abuse you and you bring me waffles. Thanks babe.”
- “Does your house have a garden?” “Probably.”
- “Should I go… unwhisk it?”
- “I heard it from the Oracle Beyoncé.”
- “HOW DO YOU LISTEN TO AN EAR?!”
- “I’m sorry Renn, I love you, but fuck the rich.”
- “I forgot that we have one brain cell in the party and it currently blinked away.”
- “We can have one little terrorism. As a treat.”
- “Hey, it’s not our fault this Earth Elemental is made of door.”
- “Roll a d20.” “10.” “…fuck.” “Does that fuck up your plans or mine? (Panicking)” “Yours.” “…fuck!”
- “If you would be inclined for a little adventure today, would you mind following me? Oh and it’s mandatory because I’ve already made arrangements.”
- “Can we just like acknowledge that she just did the anime “Oh ho ho ho!” laugh when you called her out on that?”
- “You ripping peoples faces off, that’s entirely on you. Get some help.”
- “I’m-uh-w-Lady… I’m not above hitting a woman.”
- “I have cocaine, does that count?”
- You ate a goodberry so you should be full for the rest of the day" “True” “Well you can be full and a fatass” “Just shut up and play your silly little game with your silly little characters and don’t come for me like that”
- “Does a 26 hit?” “… fuck you.”.
- “Why doesn’t Misty have a mustache?”
- “No matter who you play you gotta either fuck with his body or his heart!”
- “The undead not dead thing is right” “Please call me Renn” “I’ll never remember that” “It’s literally shorter”
- “Why must I be surrounded by lesbians? … I fear your kind.” (For the record this was said by both a gay character and player)
- “Can I pick up Renn? He’s a twink, right?”
- “You’re a second rate duelist with a third rate meal”
- “Just gives me the confidence that she would choke me”
Okay sorry I ended up pasting way more in than I expected… I just love this group and don’t get to share these with anyone. Just such ridiculous nonsense.
Edit: Also I just remembered. I actually do have the context for that ‘no no thing’ line. That one is mine from my 7’2 barbarian aarakocra jokey boy. We recorded parts of sessions and caught the no no thing bit. Here if you wanna listen to it. although I don’t blame you the slightest if you don’t.
I’ve also got a stupidly long soundcloud clip of highlights from a game a couple months ago here. It includes a bunch of the quotes pasted above.
Check out !outofcontextdnd@lemmy.world for more!
“We’re the harem inspectors.”
Are we playing the same campaign? Lol
We might be lmao
My group’s campaign started with us being called in to select the next heir, which involved investigating the sins of the imperial harem. When we got there, there were about 60 children and 12 viable heirs. Currently, there are 5 remaining children and 2 viable heirs.
From Shadowrun but still…
“Its not terrorism, its a distract spell thats materials involve C4 and a bridge”
I’m a simple man. I see Shadowrun. I upvote.
We’re all in a B-26 waiting to perform a HALO jump
GM: The “go-no-go” light is red Player #1: I jump… Player #2: aren’t we supposed to wait for the green light?
Do you think it has a cloaca or the normal two holes… Wait what do lizards have? … Discussion before attacking a green dragon.
“Would a handjob be a dexterity roll?”
“The monk is dodging a rave!?”
“I am the ring of ram, now strap me to the ballista”
“The paladin doesn’t know, put it on his tab”
“How many rats can I keep on me?”
“Yes, I know the door is locked. I open it anyway.”
His hammer, not more than one standard deviation from average…
Me, the DM: You return from behind the tent, nude. Elyse the Erinyes returns from behind the tent wearing your clothing. The ogre returns from behind the tent wearing her clothing.
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“if I die, I die holding vampire smut”
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“I guess he’s going to fist fight the helicopter”
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I’m running out of the house screaming like a banshee that just discovered cocaine.
Oi kid, wanna have some candy?
The first line in one of my campaigns from a player:
“It seems you have been given the test of race, and you have failed”
I guess this isn’t NO context but:
Innkeeper married to a nixie: “The Fey never do anything without a price…”
“… How much did you pay for your wife?”
“In my experience, magic doesn’t like metal. It needs to be flesh.”