I’m going on my first overseas trip with my girlfriend since we started dating. I worked hard all last year to earn and save money for this trip. It will be our first international trip ever, and I want to make it perfect, memorable, and the best trip of our lives.
I’ve read countless articles online to ensure everything is perfect. It felt overwhelming to the point that my head started to hurt. Fortunately, I found an article that provided a detailed guideline, and it seemed like the perfect guide. My girlfriend and I have been following it, and it has been very helpful so far.
However, I decided to come to this community to seek additional guidance, advice, and tips from you all, just in case the article missed something important. My girlfriend and I would greatly appreciate any travel tips, advice, and guidance you have, as this is our first trip abroad together.
I am guessing from context you’re an American going to Europe.
The US is big; distances in Europe is more manageable. However, we’ve packed a bunch of stuff into every square kilometre. Just because you can do Paris, Venice, Florence, Rome, and Naples all in a week doesn’t mean you should. I lived a while in Florence, and I always overheard American tourists talking about how they “saw” all these great European cities in just a day before moving on. They didn’t see shit other than the Eiffel tower and the Ponte Vecchio.
Find a place you want to experience, and try to actually experience it. Go to museums. Eat their food. Visit small unknown places. Walk around. Learn about the place.
Europeans don’t generally love Americans. We mostly tolerate them. We kind of like their culture, but our favourite Western movies are Italian.
This is not an attack, but a fair warning. Don’t parade how American you are expecting people to treat you better - the best you can hope for is that they’ll expect you to leave a fat tip. Try to mimic social codes around you. Don’t be the loudest person around - and if the loudest people around you are Americans, they’re either being obnoxious or you’re in a tourist trap.
Don’t ever brag.
Investigate when you can eat and what you can eat when. Lunch and dinner times vary from country to country and sometimes city to city. If you’re hungry between 14 and 18 in France or Italy you’ll be lucky if you can settle with a sandwich. Restaurant closing times vary a lot too - a Pizzeria in Italy will open at 19, in Denmark it will close at 20.
When in Rome and all that. Macdonald’s might do in a pinch, but Europe is a continent of cheese, wine, beer, and regional specialties. Find out what people eat in the city where you are. You probably don’t want to order a paella in Andalucia; only Americans order bolognese in Naples.
Especially in France, don’t expect everyone to speak English. They might not be very comfortable with it, and starting a conversation in English an awful start. Learn a few phrases. In France, always start any interaction with a bonjour or bonsoir. At the very least learn how to ask people if they speak English in their own language. In many countries their response will be “of course I do”, but chances are they’ll still appreciate the effort.
And good luck!! It’s a wonderful continent, especially if you’re interested in art, food, or history.
Edit: Also, if you’re in a touristic city looking very American or talking loudly in American English, you need to keep a tighter watch on your personal belongings than anyone else around you. You’re being targeted by pickpockets.
We’re from Singapore and are going to Japan. I have found lots of helpful nuggets in your tip, so thank you very much.
After decades in hospitality I have concluded that yanks aren’t any louder than the Brits or Italians
But what most American men do is put on an affected deep voice to try to seem more manly or whatever, because that’s what they grew up seeing on TV or they’re a bit insecure.
It means that over the general hubbub in a cafe of whatever, you can always hear the American guys, despite them not actually raising their voices
I think American women might have something similar going on. Some of them use their voice differently from what we’re used to in Europe. But yeah, solid observation.
I think Brits and Americans are also badly perceived because people understand the stupid stuff they’re saying. People speaking more obscure languages might have the benefit of doubt.
You should hear how the Japanese talk on the phone haha
This is all excellent advice, especially regarding France. Where I live, which is only 20 minutes from Geneva, you’d be lucky to find anyone outside larger towns who can speak English confidentially. And forget about it if you have an accent other than very standard British or American.
Europeans in general appreciate the small things in life much more than Americans. Like everyone has already said, try and relax and take it all in, rather than rush from place to place trying to cram as much as possible into your trip. Have that second glass of wine, or that dessert that looks amazing, or even that afternoon nap after a long lunch. Trust me, you remember those moments just as fondly as the big ones.
Ew do you live in Cluses? 🤢
No, good guess though!
I won’t dox you but I’m jealous of your LeClerc 😂
Figure out how many drinks you can have without getting drunk, and then drink only half that many. Altitude effects how hard alcohol hits you. Also, don’t mix alcohol and sleeping or anxiety medications.
None of us drink, but thank you very much for your tip.
Pro tip: trips aren’t perfect. It’s life, nothing will be perfect. BUT learn to roll with things and don’t take it super hard of something goes awry. Some of my best memories and stories are from agonizing parts of trips.
Also, don’t plan out all you time there, leave some free time open to list about. You’ll be there with your SO, you intend to spend quality time with them, it’s great to have open time to go do something that catches either of your attentions rather than dismiss it due to “vacation appointments” like a tourist spot you planned.
Take pictures or memorabilia of whatever suits you, I have pictures of cool mirrors in hotels, or a wonky bathtub. Again don’t dwell too much on making it perfect, the perfect spot, the perfect picture etc. I have a hilarious picture of an SO with a guy running across the shot, I got him in multiple frames. Still some of my favorites from the trip.
Grab some local currency before you arrive so it’s on hand, know what ATMs can allow you to pull money from for free (Bank of america has a bunch of partners all over Europe) and Don’t let the TSA disappear it from your bag.
I really love that pro-tip that you have mentioned. I was too naive to make it perfect, but your tip has changed my perspective on this. Thank you very much for this pro tip.
Absolutely! Glad I could help, enjoy your time together!
Also keep in mind that what is perfect for one person is not perfect for another, and we change from day to day. Some days we have energy to do a bunch of stuff, other days we just want to take it easy.
I think the most important part of successful travelling with a partner is to be considerate of each others: Pay attention to what the other person wants, perhaps especially if they need a little break. This does not align well with planning everything in detail. You have to be able to improvise, and to take into account each others needs throughout the travels. :)
Others have already said to let go about everything being perfect, because there will be things outside of your control that you cannot account for, so I won’t harp on about that.
Instead, I recommend a little pre-trip prep at home to make the end of your trip a dream as well. Take some time to clean the house/apartment, do the dishes and laundry, make the bed.
There is nothing like coming home after a long trip, but coming home to a mess or chores after a (hopefully) amazing time is a terrible way to cap off your vacation, so do yourselves a favor and spend a couple hours on making home perfect before you leave.
OMG! The article that I am following has mentioned these tips that you have mentioned. Are you the one who wrote this article?
Wish I could claim credit, but in the immortal words of Shaggy, “It wasn’t me.”
This is just something my mom drilled into us when I was younger, and I still do it to this day
Call your bank and credit cards you have and let them know you will be leaving the country. This will hopefully stop them from putting holds on your account that prevents you from spending.
Any tips?
Look up how social norms in that country differ from your own. It would suck to need the bathroom and to then find out, while in the bathroom stall, that toilet paper is not provided because the norm is that everyone brings their own, and to hope that 1) there’s someone in the stall next to you 2) who understands you and 3) is nice enough and 4) has enough to share with you.
Have fun, and when you get tired, chill out and relax.
Don’t make yourself “have fun” if you feel more like relaxing
Others have said it, but I’ll stress it some more. Don’t overplan. Whenever I go somewhere I make a list of all the places I wanna go to and I only schedule one place/day. Two at most if they’re small things. But don’t plan a museum in the morning and then a second place/museum in the afternoon, for example. You’ll never make it to the second place. Or you will but you’ll be too tired to enjoy it.
1-2 places/day are enough. Trying to cram too much stuff into a day will ruin your trip, really.
Piggybacking to add that it will make you feel disappointed when you plan for 5 things and don’t get to them all, or don’t end up fully enjoying them because you were rushing from place to place. Plan some things, but give yourself room to want to take a lot of extra time at one place, or to explore stuff nearby.
In the army they say: “No plan survives first contact with the enemy” I believe, right? I think the same counts for trips abroad. You’ll probably get sick in the first days because of all the built up stress preparing for the trip finally releasing, you will forget something “important” when leaving the airplane, the museum you really wanted to see might be closed that week because of renovations, etc.
What I remember most from my trips are those cafes you stumble upon that afternoon you did not plan anything, that sunset on the edge of the river while walking back to the place you’re staying and the best souvenir is that painting you bought from that friendly guy at that market you came across. So, try to take it slow.
More practical tips: try to follow the local schedule. For instance, in Spain don’t try to eat dinner before 21:00 and in France don’t try to go shopping during lunchtime.
Also, take some emergency food for when you cannot find a nice place to eat that still has a spot for two but you are getting really hangry. A bar of some sorts for instance.
And take pictures, but don’t experience everything through your lense. Also, imagine what you would actually like to view when back home. I only take pictures with people on them and not in any tourist hotspots; I can find enough pictures of those online already.
Enjoy!
That reminds me. My favorite memory of my last trip was missing the last train and walking 25 minutes at midnight crossing bridges and walking by a river while we experience the nice cool air and melancholy streets of Japan. Definitely a vibe.
Yep. Agreed. Unplanned bits are often very memorable. Took shelter in a random café in Vienna and had amazing cakes. My favourite memory from that trip, I think.
Have a broad plan, but don’t fuss about sticking to it too much.
Except the pictures bit. There I disagree.I like taking pictures of touristy stuff and such. Because It’ll help me remember the way I experienced the place. And pictures of stuff in museums because it’ll help me remember what I enjoyed most. I don’t wanna have to look up a list of all the expositions later on in order to find something I wanna review or share with someone.
Three nights minimum in each location. It feels rushed if it’s shorter.
Create a checklist of things to pack, bring or prepare. Helps to know you definitely packed 3 sets of clothes and have your passport ready.
Keep all your paperwork in a file easily accessible. Try to print stuff if you can because that doesn’t run out of battery.
If you’re the type to fret over prices, have a currency exchange rate ready so you know how much things will cost in your currency. Just a good mental shorthand reference. Have it be what you exchanged it for at the time not whatever the current rate is.
We haven’t created our own checklist, but we got a free one from the article that we’re following. It has mentioned everything that we need, I guess.
You’ll want one of your own. Medications, personal items you want to have. Not general line items like clothes and meds. Specifying is important. Write down stuff like 1 week of anti allergies meds, 2 pairs of pants, 6 t-shirts etc. You would think that there’s no way you would forget something important. Then you remember on the way to the airport and it’ll ruin the start of your trip.
Calculate based on how long you intend to be overseas to see how many clothes and meds you need. If you have an essential medicine like insulin pack extra in case delays happen. Have emergency medicine like for fever and diarrhoea just in case.
Portable charger and also your own wired chargers. Check what kind of power points the country will use and buy an adaptor if needed.
Buy travel insurance. If you have a delay you will need it. Check what the insurance covers as well to ensure it meets your needs. You mainly want something to cover last minute cancellations and flight delays that could force you to spend more than you intended. But also stuff like medical repatriation, lost luggage etc.
Get the details of the nearest embassy for your country. Write the contact details down so in an emergency you can get in touch.
Anyway, don’t stress. 99% of the time all this won’t be needed but for that 1% the extra effort you put in to have this ready will help you handle things better.
Honestly, expect shit to go wrong. Sounds like you’ve gotten all the important shit done. You’ve got a plan, you’ve been working towards it for a while and seems like your partner is into it as well.
We had a similar trip a few years back, first time overseas for some of us. Lots of planning and preparation went into it. Then our trip planner fucked up one of our bookings in Paris. Meaning we almost missed out on doing some tour that ended on the Eiffel Tower. A couple of times trains were missed/delayed.
The only times the trip strayed away from being the fantastic trip it was is because people let small (and sometime not so small, to be fair) disappointments or missed expectations turn into high stress/anxiety events. You’re going overseas, shit may go wrong; be ready for it and be cool with it (while also making sure you have travel insurance). Also take time away to do shit yourselves that the other may not want to do and always have set meeting times and locations to check in if you do.
If you are going to a non-english speaking country, do not expect anybody to speak english. Learn some basic phrases on the local language.
If you need any medical assistance, do not hessitate and go to a hospital. Even better if you have some travel insurance.
Do not propose. Thank me later.
Corollary: do not assume anybody doesnt speak English.
Specifically, expect no-one to speak English when you need help but everyone to understand English when you’re complaining about something to do with the country you’re in.
do not expect anybody to speak english
Can I add: also don’t expect that your body language and gestures are going to be the same. Had to learn this the hard way
Tourists in Bulgaria, for example, always get caught out by this. They shake their head for yes and nod for no.
How did you learn this lesson? Was it Bulgaria like the other commenter said?
No it was Japan. (I’m from Germany.)
I was 17 and it was before smartphones and I somehow imagined people in Tokyo and Kyoto would know English but they didn’t. And then I tried to explain what I wanted or where I wanted to go with gestures and they tried to explain back with gestures but it was a catastrophe. None of us understood each other.
I am so sorry because at some point a cook in a soba restaurant kept asking me “Soba?” and I didn’t know what soba was and it was day 10 out of 14 and I was at my nerve’s end so I yelled back in German “I don’t know what you want I don’t know what your soba is just give me that soup that I am pointing at!”
It’s been 15 years and this still keeps me up at night 😭 I’'m so sorry soba guy. Yelling at you legit is in the top 5 things I would do differently if I could relive my life.
(I was also still processing my first break up and it was hot af and my boobs had grown humongous which earned me a lot of stares abroad and all of this added to me feeling lost and frustrated.)
A friend of mine told me about how each person has a bowl into which go all the things that upset them. Some people have small bowls, others have large bowls. When the bowl is full and more things go wrong for that person, the bowl tips.
Your bowl tipped that day.
Be more concerned about enjoying your girlfriend than enjoying the place.
Can you elaborate, please?
Think about ways to enjoy doing things with her, either things she specifically enjoys that you can share in her joy or things that you two do together apart from crowds, like meals and spending time together.
The important thing about the trip is not to see more places or take more pics, it’s to spend time with her, it is better to leave without visiting that town that is surely not that good at the end, and spend an afternoon just chatting with her in a nice place.I think that makes better memories than being stressed all day because of a tight schedule.
Do fewer things better. Don’t try to cram a million things into a day. Set a “if we do X and Y today then we will be satisfied “ goal to keep perspective. It is easy to get overwhelmed by all the things you could do, so try and be satisfied with what you did do.
So true. Have several options and alternatives ready in case one falls through.
