Let me preface this by saying I am a man, and smoked a little too much, so I’m sitting here thinking… what is or was the original purpose of a bra? Weight support? Vanity? Covering the nips so people’s eyes met your eyes and you can have a normal conversation? Like what’s it all about?

  • DessertStorms@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    A lot of replies here ignoring the obvious - patriarchy, religion, and capitalism.

    There are plenty of examples of societies past and present, for the vast majority of the time humans existed probably, where breasts are free to exist as they are. The people those breasts are attached to do all manner of work and activities without hinderance, or chafed nipples. Just like those with flat chests do.

    The reason that in (especially our western) modern world we are expected to wear bras has to do with puritanism, shame, control, and profiteering from all of the above.

    Comfort is categorically not a priority of the billion dollar bra industry, the trillion dollar advertising industry, nor those who demand we wear them to be “respectable”, lest we “excite” their, or their son’s, urges or “distract” them from their important manly duties (and if we don’t, and they attack us, it’d be our fault for not being “modest” enough and “asking for it”).

    When we have all been socialised with these demands and expectations for centuries, they become so deeply ingrained, it’s really hard to separate from our own free will, and yet ask any group of people who wear bras what the best part of the day is, and they’ll tell you it’s taking it off.

    And to be clear - this isn’t a judgment of anyone who wears a bra, I wear an underwire once in a blue moon which I hate, but am usually in a sports bra because I feel more comfortable with everything held in place (and also have nosy neighbours I’m not that friendly with), it’s about questioning why I feel more comfortable that way, and how much of that is natural vs manufactured by a society that demands I keep everything held in place, hidden (unless they’re “required” to sell something or entertain the mens), and forever impossibly youthful and perky.

    Anyway, I’m stoned too and I tend to ramble, so I think I 'll leave it at that for now lol

    • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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      A lot of replies here ignoring the obvious - patriarchy, religion, and capitalism.

      They’re not. OP is asking the actual point of them, and you’re bringing modern politics into it, which are a very recent development. “Bras” go way back, like thousands of years BCE, all with very different functions.

    • EABOD25@lemm.eeOP
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      I mean no offense, but after all of the work women have done to get the rights and regards that they have today (don’t misunderstand me, there’s still work that can be done), and excuse my assumption, but it would be more or less the woman’s control of whether they would/should wear a bra, so the argument (I’m going to summarize to list to a single word. I mean no offense, but it’s my perception. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) of whether you should or shouldn’t is a feminist argument that feminist are the ones that argue about the most. However, I still believe “your body your right”. Do what you want.

      However I had 2 ulterior motives for asking: 1) to actually know where and why bras were first used 2) the vast majority of people (cis, trans, straight, gay, men, and women) enjoy boobs. There are people on the planet that sexualize boobs, but boobs are a hot topic. People enjoy talking about boobs, and to me it’s a weird phenomenon. About the only exception I think to that rule would be gay men, but they can probably still appreciate a good pair of pups.

      Again, I mean no offense. I just believe that some conversations about boobs are neither alienating or innapropriate. I hope I explained this in a way that isn’t creepy. If it does seem creep, please let me know and I’ll try to reword it

      • DessertStorms@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        A lot of replies here ignoring the obvious - patriarchy, religion, and capitalism.

        I’ll be honest, if you don’t have an understanding of how deeply these (along with white supremacy, cis heteronormativity, ablesim, classism) impact not only society at large, but our individual choices (or lack thereof), and it sounds like you don’t (E: among other reasons - the existence of feminism doesn’t negate the impacts of the aforementioned systems, if anything, it exists because those systems are still completely pervasive and need fighting against), I can’t really help at this point, there’s just too much to unpack and it’s not work I’m interested in doing for you.

        As for your ulterior motives - the first is easy to resolve by opening a search engine and looking it up, the second absolutely makes you sound like a creep, and also provides a perfect demonstration of the kind of external pressure we face that more often than not compels us to cover up - we feel you “appreciating” our “pups” (aka your “male gaze” or simply you objectifying us. And no, trying to pull an “all genders sexualise” doesn’t change the fact that cis men are who predominantly harm women and others afab). And it’s fucking gross.

        Maybe you should read my first reply again, this time try and actually listen to the experience of a person explaining to you the pressures they and others like them face from society that you never have, instead of dismissing it because it makes you uncomfortable to confront, and then invest some of your own time actually researching the topic, not of why people wear bras, but of how fundamentally social constructs impact society and all the individuals in it, and maybe you’ll start to get an idea of what the actual answer to your question is.

        But I have a feeling you’re not interested in doing any of that, so I’ll just leave you with this - boobs don’t exist for you.

        • EABOD25@lemm.eeOP
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          Ok well, I haven’t attacked anyone and have made it clear that my own perceptions and beliefs could use some work. I haven’t used personal attacks. And I’m very interested in changing my perception… as long as those who perceive things differently are as respectful to me as I am to them.

          So now for you specifically, here’s the deal. Your first argument to my first ulterior motive is you proving you are self-righteous because I posted this on “No Stupid Questions”. Which makes you the asshole in this regard while I’m truly trying to learn. Second, you are the first person to have such an issue with my asking. So there’s a great chance that my line of asking isn’t the problem, but it’s you that’s the problem

    • Reyali@lemm.ee
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      ask any group of people who wear bras what the best part of the day is, and they’ll tell you it’s taking it off.

      Nah fam. I can’t stand being without support unless I’m in bed. I’ve gotten used to wearing just an elastic sports bra at home, but I can’t stand being without underwire when I’m moving around a lot or out of my house. The bra does not come off until I put PJs on. (And even then, I’ve started sleeping in my sports bra more often than not.)

      Getting my first properly fitted bra was life-changing. My chronic back pain dropped by about 70% and existence became dramatically more tolerable.

  • That_Devil_Girl@lemmy.ml
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    I have 38C and I wear a bra for a variety of reasons. It does help with support, they weigh a lot and having them bounce freely hurts. It’s like having two large water balloons taped to your chest. Every slight bump or jolt pulls on the skin.

    It also helps with sweating. Underwood sweat is a real thing and just as uncomfortable as armpit sweat or thigh rub sweat. A bra helps to absorb sweat and moisture under there.

    A bra also acts a a sort of “armor.” My breast’s are rather sensitive, and rubbing against my shirt or other stuff can be painful. Having a bra layer protects them from chaffing and rubbing.

    There’s also a bit of vanity to it, depending on type and style of bra. Some are utilitarian and functional only, some are stylish, and some are designed to show off in low cut blouses.

    Personally, most of my bras are entirely function and utility as I work as a welder. I’m covered head to toe in safety gear, so wearing a pretty or revealing bra just isn’t practical.

    • EABOD25@lemm.eeOP
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      I completely do not understand and completely respect all statements beside the nipple rubbing thing.

      We have no comparison to who’s nipples are more sensitive, but raw nipples are the worst. Especially when sweat and exertion are the worst.

      IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, nipples are just sensitive matter who you are. Weight distribution and jiggle control is something I can’t relate to though

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        Weight distribution and jiggle control is something I can’t relate to though

        It’s not hard. Put on a really heavy backpack and leave the straps super loose, and go try to move around, maybe a few athletic moves that involve changing speed or direction. Compare to a tight backpack with a waistband and shoulder straps properly strapped to your body, and try to move around again. The straps help control the extra motion so that you’re in better control.

        Or run around in shoes 5 sizes too big. Or go for a run with your arms loose and intentionally left limp, swinging around like pendulums.

        The whole world has a million examples of why providing bracing and support makes for more efficient and comfortable movement.

      • Live Your Lives@lemmy.world
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        I’m a fellow man, but I assume the primary difference between our nipples and theirs is not sensitivity so much as it is that theirs will swing around and rub against things a lot more.

      • fogstormberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        We have no comparison to who’s nipples are more sensitive

        trans person here. girl nipples are way way way more sensitive. its not even a contest

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            I don’t have any sources or anything, but I’ve seen this anecdotally mentioned a lot by trans women. I do know that estrogen thins out your skin and I wonder if it’s related to that. Though, with all the stuff estrogen does, sensitivity might just be related to estrogen itself and not the byproduct of some other change.

      • ChillPenguin@lemmy.world
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        Asks for women’s opinion in the purpose of bras. Ignores major parts of the women’s answers. Bruh

      • That_Devil_Girl@lemmy.ml
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        Weight distribution and jiggle control is something I can’t relate to though

        Well, you can try a little experiment in the privacy of your home. Take two water balloons about the size of softballs and tape them to your chest. Spend the whole day wearing them around the house.

        It’ll quickly become something you can relate to 😀

        • EABOD25@lemm.eeOP
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          I used to do that with a 40 pound weight vest for strength training. I didn’t do it very long because it was awful

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    I’m a 36G and wear the bra because it’s super annoying to have them sway when I walk. That’s the main reason for me. I find it more comfortable to be braless, but I really shouldn’t do it in public. It’s attracts more attention than I usually want.

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      This is why I prefer winter, I can wear my bulky coat and go as braless as I want, despite the 40J I’m suppose to wear

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        38H (UK sizing) here.

        I still don’t go braless even in winter because they hang low, and that embarrasses me. Existing at all embarrasses me, so take that with a grain of salt.

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          Existing is agony, but I just can’t care anymore what people think about my tits. I’m the one who has to wear them, and bras hurt (well, I’m autistic and they hit a lot of my brain hurting points) so screw it, I’m going to the wawa in a winter coat and no cares.

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        It caused more paint when I was wearing ill fitting bras in both size and shape. I found r/abrathatfits in my mid-twenties and it changed everything for me. I mostly wear unlined mid coverage demi bra shapes now.

        I do still get back pain like just below the shoulder blades in the center of my back. But that’s been there for years and I’m used to it now

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Without a bra, you risk getting a harmonic resonant swing going, and toppling over like the Tacoma Narrows bridge.

  • db2@lemmy.world
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    Large breasts are heavy. Redistributing the weight helps the back.

    Also for some people seeing nipples is scary for some reason.

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    My titties hurt when they bounce too much during hormone shifts. Plus the nipples are really irritating in A/C when they stiffen and feel wormy (dunno how to describe, like a small boner demanding attention) and I also accidentally scratch them without a bra to cover them. Was especially important to have some sort of coverage when I had piercings in them because I almost tore one out brushing my hair. Never healed right after that.

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    I have never needed one for support, but for the past 20, 30 years the US has had some sort of weird rule that only smooth lumps are professional, no hint of actual breast shape. That’s easing in non-professional public life, finally, so I don’t wear one a lot of the time, but at work wear something with light padding to make that weird Barbie doll lump shape.

    Sports bra for running, yes that serves a practical function - holds the boobs still so they don’t bounce and hurt. So if one is more endowed and bouncing in everyday life, I imagine that a bra with structural support would be more comfortable than nothing.

    I really wanted to answer that the point is right at the front of each cup!

    • fine_sandy_bottom@discuss.tchncs.de
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      It’s definitely a me problem, not a you problem, but I do find nips distracting. I’d like to get better at not being distracted by visible nips and I’m here for that journey.

      • laughterlaughter@lemmy.world
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        I’m okay with being distracted.

        If a woman wants to wear a short, short skirt to work, or no bras, then so be it. I will probably stare when no one is looking, but I will for sure remain professional otherwise.

        What’s the difference between this scenario and having a mesmerizing painting in the common area.

        Shit, I’m objectifying women!!!

        Let’s just say that a dude with a good pair of biceps would be equally distracting, and I wouldn’t have an issue with that.

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    I wear a bra because I feel weird when my tits are bouncing freely in public, or when I know that others can see my nipples. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with going braless, but I definitely have been conditioned to feel weird about it, and it’s hard to shake.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      I feel weird wearing loose boxer shorts and having ben and jerry just swinging around down there freely while im jogging or at the gym. I dont feel comfortable unless I’m wearing rather firm-fitting cotton briefs. I think that’s just how I feel secure, I would do it that way even if social convention pressured me to freeball it.

      • Ephera@lemmy.ml
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        Yeah, when I was a teenager, those loose boxers seemed like the social convention to follow, but when I tried them, it felt like I was …naked underneath my clothes. As if I had just thrown on a bathrobe after showering and that’s how I walked around all day.

        Never mind that Ben and Jerry were doing yoga down there, getting lodged in positions I didn’t think possible, so I also had to reach with my hand far too regularly. Overall, it just felt very indecent, even though I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

  • I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world
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    I’m a small breasted woman who does not wear a bra. The reasons of practicality and comfort are described below for bigger chested people (I didn’t see mentioned that if they are really big and you try to run without serious, sometimes two sports bras on they can fly up and hit you in the face). I do sometimes accidentally hit my nipple on something, which I don’t like.

    But in my experience, people get upset at seeing boob shaped boobs. Strangers tell me I should be wearing a bra. They want bra shaped boobs. Nipples are scary.

    I haven’t worn one since middle school when it was new and fun and made me feel “grown up” (but uncomfortable). But some years back I got shingles and apparently permanent nerve damage on the nerve group that would be right under the bra band on my back and anything irritating it makes me feel like I’m on fire so it’s just not going to happen. Certainly not in the name of sparing the general public the scandal of seeing boob shaped boobs in a loose T shirt. At the very most I will use silicone tape to hide my nipples in very formal situations.

    • EABOD25@lemm.eeOP
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      Ngl. I’ve hit my nipples on things and it sucks. My dogs have ran their nails across them and they burn for the rest of the day. I totally feel that pain

      However I’m a guy and have had to apologize multiple times to women because my eyes just trail down to the chest. I don’t know psychosomatics of it, but it’s not something I consciously intend to do.

      Beyond that, I don’t mind whether women do or don’t wear a bra. Breastfeed in public if needed. It all should truly be none of my business. However, I donate to breast cancer research every year for a reason. And that reason is I think about boobs. My wife has my favorite pair though.

      Anyway, I digress, I never really knew the original purpose of them and figured I could satiate my curiosity and have a conversation about boobs with people

        • EABOD25@lemm.eeOP
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          Good question! She said, and I quote “I don’t know. What the fuck is going on in your head right now?”

    • 1984@lemmy.today
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      2 months ago

      It’s very sexy to see nipples through clothes. I don’t know why but it’s just much hotter than seeing bare breasts.

      Maybe people ask you to wear a bra because it’s making guys get distracted.

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        2 months ago

        They do, but they shouldn’t. You should not ask a stranger to change their behavior because you cannot control your own. Maybe family would do it for you, but even then it’s can be a shitty thing to do.

        • 1984@lemmy.today
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          You can’t ask guys to not get distracted. It’s not a choice they are making.

          • Jikiya@lemmy.world
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            You absolutely can ask them that. Noticing it is not the same thing as getting distracted by it. Allowing your focus to be highjacked by the environment is a sign of a weak mind. If you went to work and a coworker told you the shape of your nose was distracting to them, and you need to wear a mask so they can continue to work, that is on the coworker, not you. It is absurd to put someone else in charge of what needs to be done to stop you from being distracted.

            People need to control themselves, no one else has that ability.

            • 1984@lemmy.today
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              Won’t happen :) And disagree about the weak mind as well. Has nothing to do with mind, it’s hormones. Ask teenage boys to have their hands on their cover and exercise their willpower… :)

          • Adderbox76@lemmy.ca
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            It’s not a choice they are making

            It is if they’re friggin’ adults. Despite the media, we’re not supposed to be just led around by our penis’; unable to avoid being distracted by bewbs.

            That’s a cop out that guys use as an excuse to not evolve.

            • 1984@lemmy.today
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              Disagree, and you see the same thing in women when there is an attractive guy around.

              This political correct bullshit trying to make people think it’s wrong to be attracted to someone is just ridiculous. :)

              • Adderbox76@lemmy.ca
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                No one at any point said not to be attracted to that person. But that doesn’t mean people (men or women) should be drooling rutting animals about it.

                In the adult world that (most of us) should have left behind after our bar-hopping twenties, finding someone attractive can be done without eye-fucking them like a creep.

                • 1984@lemmy.today
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                  I can also play that game. Not at any point did I say to be drooling rotting animals. You are the one using those word words along with words like eye-fucking…

                  I think you have a twisted view of sexuality my man.

    • Shou@lemmy.world
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      I’m not busty either, but I hate the feeling of my chest moving around or hanging. Sport’s bra’s are the only thing I wear. Even while sleeping.

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        I’m a man, and that’s how I feel about boxers and being nude. I don’t like that dangle feel of uncontrolled swaying on a sensitive part.

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    Make:

    • Bouncy things less bouncy
    • Pokey things less pokey
    • Gravity less gravit-y
    • Gingernate@programming.dev
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      I’m thinking this guy has never seen real tits in real life, a teenager, or both. Or just blazed, that I can respect hahahah.

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        I got stoned enough to forget my age a few months ago… not like for a moment… I consciously focused on it for 15 minutes, couldn’t figure it out, kept pondering the rest of the night and couldn’t remember until the next morning…

        I am old enough to occasionally forget my age, not to literally not be able to recall it… so I can empathize if bro is just waaay too stoned to comprehend the concept of a bra haha

        • EABOD25@lemm.eeOP
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          I just figured it would be an entertaining and informative topic haha