There’s no way I can do that. I’m much too busy shitposting. It would be a huge inconvenience.
Tinkering with technology is my hobby, so I spend a lot of time on secondary markets (like Facebook Marketplace, OfferUp, Craigslist, eBay, etc.) I always research the original price of any item I’m interested in, any current discounts being offered by retailers (like Amazon, etc.), and what the average pre-owned price appears to be across platforms. Then I offer some amount less, and expect a counter. I equate negotiating with fishing. I know that, with patience, I will eventually find a motivated seller. So I try to never enter any specific negotiation needing to make a deal. Obviously the rarity of an item and your desire to obtain it are big factors that will influence the price which you are willing to pay, but knowing the item’s value and being unafraid to make a reasonable-but-low first offer has proven successful for me. Also be courteous. I have had better success providing context and asking questions about the item then merely opening with a low effort bid, and have even had several sellers return to the negotiation hours, days, or weeks later because I invite them to if we are unable to reach an initial agreement.
Silence is a weapon. People don’t like awkward pauses and will talk to fill in the gap and sometimes they end up putting their foot in their mouth.
I use this all the time. At some point in my life I just stopped being uncomfortable with silence, but it drives most people mad.
And it’s not just useful in terms of having an “opponent” stew in some social discomfort.
Use it to take a moment to think. Use it to give the other party time to think. Use it to let your most recent words hang in the air and gain more weight. Etc.
There are two rules you need to know in negotiations. First, never lay all your cards on the table.
I work in procurement. That means I negotiate with suppliers all day, every day. I’m the one the team calls when they need something fixed, and want something better than using a big hammer or lighting everything on fire.
The absolute best tip was courtesy of my first boss in the field:
"Always be prepared to walk away and say ‘No, thank you’. "
You won’t look weak (except to the wrong people). Instead you’ll come across as empowered, that you know what you want, have no tolerance for games, but also can be trusted. Very few people like people who always say yes, no matter what anxiety says. In order to be here, it’s important to have options and choices you can accept. Be ready to jump rails if it looks like you won’t get your first choice. That’s how good negotiators in my field do it - they have several acceptable options.
It’s still not easy to do. It requires perseverance and flexibility. Allow yourself to practice in lower-risk situations.
owh okay, thanks for the advice… ill keep that in mind…
A gun helps. Walk slowly and carry big gun
Read some books on the subject
Never Split the Difference might be appropriate. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion is a great read. Getting to Yes/Getting Past No may also be decent.
Understand “what kind of cards you’re sitting on”. Before that even happens, ensure that you have good cards
Concrete example: You’re looking to increase your salary. You can do it either by convincing your current workplace to increase it, or you can look for a new job.
The cards you’re sitting on: How valuable you are to the company, and how likely you are to leave if you don’t get what you want.
How to improve your hand before you get to the negotiating table: Try getting some competing offers for jobs.
If you’re the less experienced negotiator, avoid negotiating live
When negotiating salary for a new position, the recruiter likely has far more experience negotiating. They will know techniques to try to get you to commit to a lower number than is possible. To avoid this from happening, move negotiations from in-person/on the phone to email. Give yourself a lot of time to process all information.
thanks for the detail advice, and for books recommendations…
Perhaps, what are you offering in return?
This gal has a channel devoted to things like this, particularly in regards to career-related settings. Lots of good advice here:
How about you give me some tips first, and I’ll consider it?
War negotiating or price negotiating?
https://se-radio.net/2016/11/se-radio-episode-275-josh-doody-on-salary-negotiation-for-software-engineers/ (not specific to software engineers)
From The One Sentence Persuasion Course by Blair Warren: “People will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, justify their failures, allay their fears, confirm their suspicions, and help them throw rocks at their enemies”
I’ve found this helpful when trying to convince anyone of anything. The book breaks it down more, of course, but is probably not worth reading Vs the various summaries you can find online.
My summary, at least what I took from it is that you must try to understand the person you are negotiating with/pursuading. Figure out what they want, or what they’re afraid of, and offer that.
The Art of Being Right https://a.co/d/g6Wj4fs
