First and last snowboard lesson. Long time ago. Never again.

When I was younger I fell off a homemade merry go round some neighbors had built. Got hit in the back of the head by one of the horses as I tried to get up. Ended up with staples and a lovely scar.

I suppose running down the stairs when I was 5 or 6. Look I was really excited to use those stickers. Tumbled head over heels down the basement stairs and struck the top of my head on the support beam at the bottom. Ended up getting stitches, a bear stuffy, and topical cocaine so obviously I came out ahead

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I did half a backflip once.

I was wearing a helm and got away with a concussion that kept me home for a week.

Classic. Dropped on head as a baby. Small fracture behind my ear. Fucked up my balance for a while, apparently moving just a little bit would cause me to get dizzy and puke. No permanent issues, but I blame it for my inability to ride a unicycle.

When I was two or three I hit my head on the corner of a table in a post office and had a huge gash above my eyebrow. It had to be stitched and for some reason the doctor didn’t allow my mom to hold my hand. She still kicks herself for not insisting enough. I don’t remember it at all apart from the scar.

One time I randomly decided to jump and touch the ceiling while standing in a doorway… I thought I broke my neck for a minute

Metal pole

Also hardest thing I bit. I dented it. My teeth did not chip or crack at all

I sometimes wonder if I am part Idiot Anime Protagonist

Diamond, technically. It’s not the hardest thing in existence but probably the hardest my head has made contact with.

When I was probably somewhere around 10-12, I was walking backward and turned around right into a wall. Fell onto my back, then ran to the bathroom and threw up 6-7 times.

Slipped backwards while ice skating and my head hit the ice.

Playing football during PE class a lifetime ago. I’m not sure what happened exactly but I got knocked out and regained consciousness face down in the grass.

Not the most dramatic, but when I was really little I remember play fighting with my brothers, and falling backwards off the bed and hitting my head against a dresser.

There was no wound or anything but I remember seeing all kinds of fucked up colors at the moment of impact. Despite being a huge crybaby, I’m pretty sure I didn’t cry or freak out, I was just extremely fatigued.

I wonder if we should have gone to the doctor. I don’t think you’re supposed to see TV static and rainbow vomit when you bump your head.

I don’t remember…