…ideally one that was both genuine and that you had the confidence and self awareness to interpret as kind. And for bonus points, what’s one you’ve given?
I’m thinking back to the guy in group therapy years ago who told me he always thought of people who swore as not knowing any better words, but that I obviously knew better words and just also swore and even used them artistically and that’s just really stuck with me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my self esteem has suffered not just because I’ve been told not to brag, but also because I’m extremely weird so the compliments I do receive often reflect that.
My bonus one (and I’m not sure how well he was able to take it) was that one of my fellow psych nurses was frequently and obviously terrified any time shit hit the fan, but that somehow still he’d never once failed to have my back. He’d be stuttering the whole way through an incident but I’d walk out of the med room with both halves of a B52 and he’d take one of the syringes without a second thought. He was literally the epitome of “courage isn’t not being scared, it’s being willing to face it.” I should find a nice presentation of that quote somewhere to send him because I’m not sure I phrased it well at the time.
I’m pretty sure it was intended as a compliment, but a little after I came out as trans I had a coworker tell me about a conversation she had with another coworker where she said about me, “They always dress better than us.”
That’s just the fear of not passing, lol. …or the contrast between that and the weird greasy egg look people get if the dysphoria impairs their self care. It was a really bizarre realization for me that the reason I liked dressing hyperfeminine on rare occasions was essentially the same as men who do drag as a costume. I got my tits chopped off and have no regrets but I am considering getting a pair just to wear on special occasions.