Some people are just looking for something to complain about because they are unhappy people anyway. That has nothing to do with you. Some people are complete idiots, go read some Amazon reviews. My favorite is about a Rice Paddle (plastic) that you only use with an electric rice maker. One reviewer said it was crap because it melted. Clearly they used it with a regular pan and had no idea what they bought. If you like yourself and the people you care about and respect like you, no one else really matters. It’s nice to be liked, but respecting and caring for yourself is the most important thing to remember. And sometimes (too many times actually), having some people like you can be a liability. Some people are just horrible and will latch on to you and spread their toxicity. It can be a real gift to not be liked by these people. Not being liked is not always a bad thing. The Sun shines on both sides of the planet!

i like me.

everyone else is optional

70% of people are idiots so you’re doing pretty well. Only 9/10 dentists can agree on a toothpaste ffs!

I’m a 36 year old professor. My only negative evaluation this past semester was that I didn’t give homework. Though, most of them hated my guts from using grades to tell them their work was mostly average. <Insert Boomer comment about participation trophies>

The students realized they needed to change to improve their grades. And subsequently, they grew the way I expected, which was far more than they thought they would. They recognized I was teaching them more than the material: I was teaching them the meta. That was valuable enough to them to forgive me for being such a dick about the numbers that define their self worth.

So, want the students to give you those glowing 10/10 evaluations? Piss them off and make them glad that you did. Give them something of value that no one has. But, based off of how much you seem to care about the difference between a 95% and 100%, I think, much like my students, you are chasing your participation trophy. Think on it.

It may sound a little silly but when I get good feedback on something, I pop it in my journal under a specific tag so I can revisit it from time to time.

It’s unfortunate that people are unfair to you, possibly they are younger or otherwise have incorrect expectations about your fallibility as a human.

I used to respond to things like that but these days I let the positive comments speak for themselves. Just remember to ask for feedback- a lot of people otherwise won’t do it unless they’ve got something negative to say.

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I tend to think people who don’t like me are the bad weird.

I just stopped caring. Why should it matter if people like me? Life is a very short, fleeting construct. Wasting time worrying about what some other human thinks of me makes literally no difference in the grand cosmos. I’d rather put my energy toward something interesting.

I just don’t give a shit.

Are you fucking serious? Did you never get bullied in school as a kid or something? Are you that privileged? What the fuck.

There’s a point I reached where I mostly just stopped caring. I also don’t like a lot of people, so I suppose the feeling is at least sometimes mutual.

More to your actual point, learning to deal with criticism is a skill and it can be very tough sometimes for everyone. I normally try to think of how that comment is wrong and, if it’s not, how I can learn and grow from whatever criticism is. Don’t sweat honest mistakes; just try to put systems in place to avoid them (I’m a fan of checklists for some things). For personal attacks or unrelated, just ignore them.

Wish I could help with the strategy. I don’t deal with this in any way, I genuinely don’t care if someone likes me or not. I actually don’t think about it. I understand this can be a problem and mess with one’s confidence in a situation like yours, but the numbers speak for themselves - you are in a good place.

Do you like everyone? Probably not. Just because people don’t like each other doesn’t mean something is wrong. You can even love somebody and want nothing to do with them.

Time helps. I am not a teacher, but I coach.

I feel like I wanted to be loved by my athletes or completely ignored by them when I started coaching. I didn’t want anyone to dislike or doubt my abilities in any way. I went above and beyond to plan practices and be as legitimate as possible as a young coach close (enough) in age to the athletes. I needed firmly establish that I was an authority in the field and worth taking advice from.

I’ll be honest, some of my interactions with athletes during covid broke me. We went remote when facilities and the world shut down. Which meant trying to run fitness classes over zoom for whoever still wanted them. When we returned to in person practice, the athletes just came back cynical and critical (the entire world was just proven to be a shit show, so I understand where they are coming from). I felt like I had to justify my strategy every few weeks, of they did not see immediate results, they just questioned the value in coming to practice.

It took time to build up a reputation with my athletes again. All i could do was continue to do the best job possible and trust my knowledge. We just celebrated having our first Olympian alumni, so things are going well! But not everyone has that same successful result, and want to blame someone for that. Some people will always think they are the smartest person in the room, and you can’t change their way of thinking.

For those 5% of negative reviews, the best case scenario is that you did the best possible job you could. And in a few years, they self reflect and think about how critical they were of you when it really wasn’t anything. Worst case scenario, they tell the story of their instructor, who was in some way incompetent, and everyone just smiles, nods, and gets on with their lives. The otherwise overwhelmingly positive reviews show us that you are preparing your students for whatever the next step is. Some students might not see the value of your work immediately, or 2 years down the road, or ever. Just because they can not see the value in your work does not mean the value was not their.

work on your self-confidence and self esteem. go check a psychologist.