For example, I once saw a man throw his hat down in anger. He didn’t stomp on it which was kind of a let down.
Walking home from the bus stop, this much younger little kindergarten girl who I could tell had a crush on me, turned to me and said, “you drive me cookoo bananas!” then hastily turned into the street without looking where she was immediately hit by an oncoming car (which slammed on their brakes at the point of impact) and launched literally like 5 meters.
I can still see her flying through the air in slow motion in my memory.
The neighborhood Mom who hit her was inconsolable.
Best part of the story (and the only reason I would relay such a tragic event in this thread): she was somehow almost unscathed and was at school the next week no worse for the wear by all accounts.
She more than earned the nickname, “Fender Bender” given to her by the mean kids.
Glad she was okay, damn. That story made me remember Stacy from Wayne’s World
Standing in a convenience store when a car comes crashing through the front, and broken glass flies all around all the customers including me. None of us got hurt, but it was scary AF. Car was being driven by an elderly person who confused the brake pedal with the gas pedal.
I had something similar happen to me. The steering knuckle on my first car broke and took out the brakes in the process. I hit the brakes and emergency brake as hard as I could but my vehicle turned sharply to the left and drove into a pool store.
However, there was a car between me and The pool store, so I hit the car and the car went into the pool store.
That was some scary fucking shit, fortunately no one was hurt and the damages were fairly minor.
You were just playing billiards but with cars.
Oh, you meant the other kind of pool…
We were in slow traffic and a car is trying to leave a parking lot. We give the other car some space to merge in, and they take it, but for the opposite way (passed us and entered going the opposite way we were going). It was a big infraction of the road rules. Right behind the guy was a cop car, I still remember his face, like “did I really just see this right in front of me?”. The cop turned on the lights and followed the rule breaker, we were laughing our asses off inside the car. The whole thing felt scripted out of a comedy schetch of something.
A less fun one was during the first lockout of the pandemic, I was standing at the window seeing a cop car slowly going by outside with big loudspeakers: “Stay at home. If you show simptoms of cough of fever call XXX. Stay at home. Mask use in public spaces is mandatory” Felt like the start sequence of a post apocaliptic movie or something.
Maybe like 20 years ago, my partner and I were at a couple-friends’ apartment on a hot sweaty summer day. The four of us sitting in a small circle on the hardwood living room floor, smoking a bowl… Nothing but the sound of the flicking lighter, and the squeaky hum of the ceiling fan providing us with some margin of relief from the heat. Ahh…
Then boom. The ceiling fan’s loose screw squeaked its last squeak and the whole fixture fell, heavy-ass motor assembly and all, exactly in the middle of our circle. One of the wooden blades nicked my friend on the way down for a bloody eyebrow. But the heavy middle part, which could’ve killed any of us, landed right in the middle of our little arms-length bowl circle. This wasn’t one of those skinny modern fans you install by yourself… The thing was freakin’ heavy.
“Whoa.”
On the lunch long time ago, I was complaining to my colleagues about surprisingly expensive pizza: “20 euros for the pizza! In some countries you would get a blowjob for that kind of money!” Few minutes later, another colleague joined us and I immediately told him: “This is 20 euro pizza!”. He answered: “What?? Did you get a blow job with it?” One female colleague noted: “I see you both visit similar kind of … restaurants”.
That sounds straight out of Seinfeld, I read “Did you get a blowjob with it?” with Kramer’s voice hahahaha
Was in an expressway pileup and man you sense of time just does go wack. I had somewhat the effect when I was young and we used to walk on the train tracks and we turned around to see a train coming and it seemed like it was ontop of us and we literally lept to the side and actually it was pretty far away we were just surprised by it. got all dirty and scratched up for nothing. Had time to get up and look and see it was a way aways and wait for it. Okay the last thing was not preciesly a movie thing but im just talking about wierd time perception things they sorta immitate with slow motion and such.
The most movie-like event for me was when I got a job working on a cruise ship and they sent me and a bunch of other people out to Baltimore for training. When I got there, my luggage never came down the coral thing and I ended up missing the bus to the training facility. A couple others had the same issue and the company had us stay at a hotel nearby the airport for the night. It was me, another guy who was gay, and two girls. We all had dinner together and then went to our single room and the girls were arguing over who’s tits were better because one had implants and the other didn’t. So they asked our opinion and had us feel them up at the same time to compare.
I honestly couldn’t tell the difference. They were both awesome.
Once I saw a car flying off the street in an accident.
It was going at good speed on the Autobahn, came off the road a little to the left, and the driver lost control. It went over to the right side crossing all lanes at once, then bumped the guardrails there a few times, started to spin and finally jumped up high and off to the right.
All the people in the car survived.
If The Thing happened to me I would be dead and a grotesque alien would be using my body parts
Once i had a bike accident. The car was parked and the driver opened the door milliseconds before i drove by.
The bike smashed into his door and i went flying onto the other lane, where luckily no cars were driving at the time.
The movie like thing was that i landed rolling a few times and ended up on my feet without any injury or whatsoever. The bike was trashed, as was the car’s door. The driver was also pretty shocked about what happened. I was just wondering why nothing happened to me.
Ok, i was young ( 26 ) and I’m sure my body wouldn’t be so lucky nowadays.
Drives me crazy how so many people don’t check for traffic, pedestrians, whatever before opening their door. Glad you weren’t hurt!
Nowadays with mobile phones it’s even worse. I see people walking around with their undivided attention on what they are doing on the phone. Other people usually walk around them.
Other people usually walk around them.
I don’t, I am the mean asshole they have to walk around. I see them imposing costs on me and I don’t accept.
You might be a ninja!
I had a similar experience (at a similar age but only one flip) and instead of a door, I stopped short to avoid an unexpected car and did an involuntary front flip over the handlebars of a mountain bike with the handlebars still in my hands. After I landed on my feet, the bike swung over my head (through the force of its inertia, I’m guessing) and landed on the back tire in front of me in a full wheelie position while I stood behind it. The driver just looked at me with her mouth wide open in shock. We had a laugh and continued about our days unharmed but shoook. I can’t even believe I did that. I certainly wouldn’t be able to do that if I tried.
Yeah, I’m sure that, without training, trying to do something like that on purpose, is bound to have you fail spectacularly.
In my case, i would probably jump too soon, before the door opens.
We snatched a few Neighborhood Crime Watch signs from our rural neighborhood.
If anyone happens to have a recording from 1998 of when the Daily Show came out to rural PA and interviewed the state troopers and crime watch committee about it, we’ve been trying to find that recording for years. It was definitely during the Craig Kilborn years and I believe Steve Colbert was the field reporter who did the segment, but I’m not sure, because all those Daily show guys looked the same to me back before they got famous.
Jay Leno also did a Headlines bit on it, but that’s not nearly as fun.
With digitization the way it’s going, for example Jon Oliver’s show releasing all of their content on YouTube, you might get lucky by reaching out to the studio itself. There’s gotta be some nerd who’d find your story interesting enough to comb the archive for you.
I did find a site dedicated to finding all the lost episodes, but they haven’t found mine yet. 🤷🏻♂️ I used to have one, but someone taped over it with Oprah.
I saw a lady slip on a banana peel irl outside of the Disney store in Dublin, Ireland. I didn’t even know it was possible. I felt really bad bc I couldn’t go help her up because I was laughing so hard and had to go into the Disney store so it wouldn’t look like I was laughing at her. I was just more shocked that it actually happened.
Had a shotgun put to my head and marched into a house of gang members because I dared to try to pick my sister up from a party. Got yelled at and threatened, and left without her.
Came back a little while later to try once more and found ems/police/fire all over the place. That same person with the same shotgun blew someone elses head off after I left.
I had a friend with me, we elected not to stop the second time. A day later the police questioned us, we were subpoenaed to testify, and both got threatened by gang members for years.
Good times.
…and what about your sister (he asked, trepidatiously)?
She was fine. She left after the shooting and got a ride home. We don’t talk anymore. She accused me of raping her when we were kids while she was in a troubled teen facility (I got to fly to Utah and talk to a room full of shrinks as a teenager!) got my whole family believing and accusing me… Until 10 years later when she did the same to our dad.
I feel for her, she’s had it rough but I’ve almost died, been ostracized and demonized by my entire family and the emotional shit that came with it as a teen. But she can get fucked.
She later (several years) went on to get arrested and convicted of selling coke, as well as conspiracy to sell. Got out, invited the police in while she had meth out on the table after calling them about methallucinations.
Well, this wasn’t a fun story at all.
Hard agree, and what’s worse is that I didn’t then, and even now 30+ years later don’t see it as a traumatic. I know it is logically but I don’t feel it.
Things leading up to it were that much worse, and the later years didn’t start to get better until recently.
It sounds like you lived through some rough situations; it is a tough climb out but I am glad to hear things have gotten better for you. Keep climbing, friend!
Sorry, friend. I’m glad things have gotten better.
She got eaten by a grue.
I could only hope!
Damn. This is almost the plot of Primer.
Whoa, you are right!
I had sex once.
I had sex once.
Doesn’t count here, because the sex in the movies isn’t real.
That’s cool, she wasn’t real either.
Once
Nice.
Niiiiiiccee
Nice.
With someone else?
Oh shit, is that a requirement?
I’ve seen that movie!
Been in several car accidents. Rolled a car down a hill. Was hit by a car and went over the bonnet, roof and landed on my feet behind the car bruised but OK.
Got run over by another car dislocated my knee and my heel burst open, the lady in the car gave me about 20 chocolate penguin biscuits for the shock, then I got on a bus and went to my mates house for a joint.
Done illigal bridge swings off of railway bridges and damns and abseiled away from the cops.
Climbed onto the roof of a moving steam train dressed as Indiana Jones walked along the carridge then climbed back in through a window, scaring the crap out of the people in there.
Then met the girl of my dreams, had kids settled down (a little) and lived happily ever after.
