Depends on which definition you go by, I guess. I prefer the literal meaning of the word; involuntary celibate. A person who is celibate against their own will.
Nobody is celibate against their will. They might have difficulty getting into relationships, but they are also choosing not to use the services of sex workers.
Your typical incel is that quiet guy in school with bad skin, plain clothes, and oily hair, whose only friends were the other outcasts. Like everyone else, they just wanted a normal relationship with a normal woman. It’s the repeated failure to form those relationships that leads to the resentment and anger we now see. They weren’t always like that. The bitterness and hatred is a coping mechanism for their situation, not the cause of it.
Most of the people that fit your description that I knew in the 90s had relationships with other outcasts, the people they hung out with. Hell, I probably could have fit that description and had no issues dating!
‘Normal women’ includes all kinds of women, but the context implies that they are choosing some kind of stereotypical type of woman which is limiting their dating pool. Their bitterness and hatred comes from not changing their behavior to attract the type of women they were interested in.
I’m sure that’s true in some cases, but I wouldn’t generalize it as the explanation for most incel’s situations that they simply had too unrealistic standards
I think you’re being a bit unfair there. These attitudes often stem from their inability to form relationships. The struggle came first, and the resentment followed. They aren’t without sex and relationships because they’re inherently hateful people; rather, the hatred emerges from prolonged frustration and rejection.
In most cases, I believe the inability to get into relationships is less about character and more about factors like social awkwardness, lack of friends, poor hygiene, unfortunate genetics, spending too much time online or gaming, etc.
is less about character and more about factors like social awkwardness, lack of friends, poor hygiene, unfortunate genetics, spending too much time online or gaming, etc
The struggle to form relationships comes from issues like what you mentioned here, which are mostly things that are a part of your character. The incel logic is circular.
Arguably blackpilled folks are less problematic than incels since they have given up looking and perhaps developed a better attitude toward women (paradoxically) while incels hold a shred of toxic hope that their tradwife will swoop in and save them and that hope eats them alive. Note: I am not a scholar of either community’s worldview
I had only just learned the term but I’m probably a black pill, and it’s different.
My wife and I are having trouble, and divorce is on the table.
When she asked about what am I going to do? I said I don’t intend to ever get into another relationship. Apparently that was more hurtful than trying to replace her… Go figure.
I’ve had enough relationships in my time to know they are all pretty much the same, and I think I will be better off just not with anyone else. I’m sure my patterns play into these dynamics, but I try my best to be a good partner and I think I’m just better spending that energy on supporting myself in the time I have left.
I have kids and don’t want to put any pressure on them (IE I’m careful that I don’t want them to be my emotional support), but hopefully that will allow me to feel enough connection as I descend into hermithood.
Well not really. Those are different things. Black pill is about how you think, while incel is about what you are.
Incels are defined by how they think, not what they are.
The term, “involuntarily celibate” is not about how someone thinks, hence the “involuntary” portion of the phrase.
Depends on which definition you go by, I guess. I prefer the literal meaning of the word; involuntary celibate. A person who is celibate against their own will.
Nobody is celibate against their will. They might have difficulty getting into relationships, but they are also choosing not to use the services of sex workers.
That’s illegal though.
It is not illegal everywhere.
I don’t think that’s fair. It’s not just sex they are after; they want a relationship but are unable to get into one.
A relationship defined in their own learned psychopathic terms.
Your typical incel is that quiet guy in school with bad skin, plain clothes, and oily hair, whose only friends were the other outcasts. Like everyone else, they just wanted a normal relationship with a normal woman. It’s the repeated failure to form those relationships that leads to the resentment and anger we now see. They weren’t always like that. The bitterness and hatred is a coping mechanism for their situation, not the cause of it.
Most of the people that fit your description that I knew in the 90s had relationships with other outcasts, the people they hung out with. Hell, I probably could have fit that description and had no issues dating!
‘Normal women’ includes all kinds of women, but the context implies that they are choosing some kind of stereotypical type of woman which is limiting their dating pool. Their bitterness and hatred comes from not changing their behavior to attract the type of women they were interested in.
I’m sure that’s true in some cases, but I wouldn’t generalize it as the explanation for most incel’s situations that they simply had too unrealistic standards
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I think you’re being a bit unfair there. These attitudes often stem from their inability to form relationships. The struggle came first, and the resentment followed. They aren’t without sex and relationships because they’re inherently hateful people; rather, the hatred emerges from prolonged frustration and rejection.
In most cases, I believe the inability to get into relationships is less about character and more about factors like social awkwardness, lack of friends, poor hygiene, unfortunate genetics, spending too much time online or gaming, etc.
Because of how they think making them have awful personalities.
The struggle to form relationships comes from issues like what you mentioned here, which are mostly things that are a part of your character. The incel logic is circular.
Arguably blackpilled folks are less problematic than incels since they have given up looking and perhaps developed a better attitude toward women (paradoxically) while incels hold a shred of toxic hope that their tradwife will swoop in and save them and that hope eats them alive. Note: I am not a scholar of either community’s worldview
I had only just learned the term but I’m probably a black pill, and it’s different.
My wife and I are having trouble, and divorce is on the table.
When she asked about what am I going to do? I said I don’t intend to ever get into another relationship. Apparently that was more hurtful than trying to replace her… Go figure.
I’ve had enough relationships in my time to know they are all pretty much the same, and I think I will be better off just not with anyone else. I’m sure my patterns play into these dynamics, but I try my best to be a good partner and I think I’m just better spending that energy on supporting myself in the time I have left.
I have kids and don’t want to put any pressure on them (IE I’m careful that I don’t want them to be my emotional support), but hopefully that will allow me to feel enough connection as I descend into hermithood.