Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they’d be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.
I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?
Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It’s a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don’t appear on mobile).
Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn’t purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I’m not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I’d see what y’alls opinion on the matter is.
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Gender is an incredibly validating concept specifically for some trans people, to write it off is unhelpful.
I mean in my “very long” years of experience never seen in an anonymous ungoverned platform someone intentionally revealing any peace of personal information about themselves like in hacking platforms for example someone calling themselves “he who hacks” or “her majesty” or such where those are only simple usernames but yet reveal enough to minimize the search area and along with the comments data could trigger enough data to start and osint attack on the user and then eventually dox them…
if you’re obligating everyone to acknowledge your personal data don’t be nagging when companies be selling your data and making profit out of it since there are people who like Force feeding their informations onto others to be aware of, hell I won’t even blame Lemmy instance owner to sell the users data by then.
I’ll be talking about myself and the majority of users that immigrated to this social platform based on the idea that it’s ungoverned, legally safe for all users and anonymous so when a user Calles someone bro or pal it’s if not always meant as gender neutral same as in a random people calling you bro with the meaning of that he/she descending from your mom or dad, like yourself, the logic is the same and intentions were pure, plus with the culture of respecting everyone’s right of privacy you’d learn to treat everyone as equal and the same, with the only difference is the mentality and ideas held by individuals not by gender as the only special treat to define a user.
Bad faith argument.
Listing your pronouns isn’t force feeding anything to anyone. Observing someone’s listed pronouns takes less effort than having this discussion.
Using they/them and gender neutral language is helpful as a general rule, but if someone is absolutely fucking waving a flag of their gender, its wilfully ignorant at best and intentionally malicious at worst to disregard it.
Or just quoting a P.T. Barnum as most people don’t like changing quotes for whatever reason and using what is known to be a famous saying is definitely not “intentionally malicious” it’s mostly the ignorant’s fault for not getting the innocent joke, plus not all Lemmy mobile apps show stuff like flags and pronounces so maybe consider that as well on your side before dropping the death sentence…
Your argument was that everything should be gender neutralised. That has nothing to do with OP’s very innocent usage of a quote.
When did I drop a death sentence? Deary me, I advocate for using someone’s pronouns instead of applying they/them to everybody and you consider that a death sentence?
Not “should be” but sometimes everyday users would just quote and go without the extra effort of checking into everyone’s profile before the already wasted effort of doing the comment then changing the quotes based to fit for everyone’s gender perfectly so the easier solution is just considering everyone a catfish and just move on it’s just a quote of a meme anyway for all that effort to waste
This is an absolutely garbage take. “Anonymous” defaults to male in everyone’s mind because patriarchy is the basis of our society. Claiming everyone should just be “Anonymous” is a male supremacist and exclusionary of everything else position to take.
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If you think I would read this shit after that first sentence you’re a fucking idiot
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X’D
Eat my ass
Your parents failed in raising you
Look bud, if you’re gonna try and do transphobia to show us how trash you are, at least make it coherent.
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Dude I can smell the greasy hair through my screen
You did the right thing. It’s a lot of bullshit about “oh, you list your pronouns? You must be fine with corporations selling your data” and then at the end there seems to be a bit of “hexbear showed up late to the fediverse party and is ruining everything”, which is, of course, pretty much directly opposite of the truth.
Hexbear existed 2 years before everything else? Fucking wild. This loser’s account is literally 3 years younger than my hexbear account and 2.5 years younger than my Lemmy.ml one and he thinks we’re the late ones?
The only “ruining” I’m doing here is ruining his bullshit fuckoff attempt to associate lgbt and gender with being a corporate thing, it’s fucking nonsensical. Dude deserves to lose teeth.
As I’ve said else where in the thread, Hexbear has some high quality contributors, I’m glad y’all decided to federate.
Learn how to punctuate your fucking sentences.
Whoa there those are big words for an UFO sighting are you a conspiracy theorist or something? Lmao
I think you replied to the wrong account, this is a completely incoherent response
whatever dumbass point you’re trying to get across isn’t landing because you write in borderline incoherent run-on sentences
the fediverse isn’t explicitly about privacy btw, it’s about taking control from corporations who want to exploit us, and giving it to the community itself via decentralization. there’s absolutely no expectation to be a tinfoil hat weirdo on here, and if you want to cultivate a community that isn’t just a bunch of paranoid weirdos with nothing to talk about except opsec, then yes sharing (in this case the bare fucking minimum) about your identity is actually beneficial to, y’know, discussing things
I’m probably a bit further to the right than most on the fediverse with this opinion but…
I think, once you have been informed of someone’s pronouns, it’s flat out rude to not use them. I don’t know if it’s a banning issue but that’s for the moderators on your instance to decide or the instance the community is on. Even if you don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle, it’s just polite to address people the way they’d like to be addressed.
But surely there’s a difference between intentional misuse and accidental. I think banning someone for not looking up someone’s pronouns before a public interaction seems like pushing things a bit far here. I certainly am not checking such things. But, then in general when online I will use gender neutral wording because frankly, for online interactions someone’s rarely information that matters for the interaction. I don’t really need to know.
My view is, I think it is almost always clear when someone is being malicious and thus transphobic and when someone makes an honest mistake/did not know better. We, as a whole, really should be differentiating between obviously malicious and non-malicious cases.
Yaa that is similar to my viewpoint, though I am also a cis, white, blonde, blue eyed, tall, male, so my experiences/opinions are coming through the privilege lenses absolutely :| Having to deal with conversations like this all the time with “normies”, can imagine people who are deep into such social circles get tired of dealing with the acting-in-bad faith bullshitters.
I generally just use gender neutral language. I would check the person’s bio before using a phrase like that tho, especially if they have a trans flag emoji in their name
That being said, getting banned/restricted for that comment alone seems a bit extreme to me tho
i would block all those people and move forward with my life
Using a client that shows the pronouns in hexbear is good and it sounds like you are doing that now.
As a follow up, I recommend approaching gender just as one would if they were bring mindful with new people. If you don’t know pronouns, using they/them is a fine way to start referring to someone neutrally. You can also just use their name. It is considerate to then figure out what they prefer in a non-awkward way, either by how others talk or by just asking them nicely. Having pronouns displayed by names is just helpful for clarity and speeding things up online.
Just stop using gender specific pronouns at all. Makes things much simpler
i find this very easy on lemmy, in english. i’m usually talking to folks more than about them. if i do want to talk about someone, i’ll check their profile, or default to ‘they’ if data is lacking, but it’s a rare enough thing so as to be little burden.
This is what I try to do. This has been made slightly more difficult after “they” became a pronoun in its own right. I’ve only had one person get upset by my using “they” before knowing their preferred pronouns though, and when my intent was clarified it was fine. But like damn what other default pronoun exists? I guess this is what getting old feels like, it’s not like Iwant to be a boomer about this.
33·8 days agoI use they/them as a default. I’ll catch myself in using them and go “wait, what is this persons pronouns” and check, on platforms like Lemmy that have it, their display name for pronouns, and if there aren’t any, then bio. If neither have any pronouns I’ll use they/them. If there are pronouns I will not use they/them unless listed.
To clarify, I’ve never had anyone online get upset with me using they/them, it’s only been in person, after hearing about my conversation with someone else from that second person. I was just left scratching my head with that one, like at least I was trying right? Ultimately though I’ve never experienced being misgendered, by accident or intentionally, so idk how it feels, idk how it feels after the thousandth time, and so I can’t really be mad about it back you know? I was just more sad that the default globally applicable pronoun wasn’t anymore, even if it usually still is.
Its an honest mistake and I think if you appealed the ban you’d have a good case for it, however as you now know that’s the trans flag you can be more mindful in future :)
Uh, yes, but its a mutual misunderstanding from both sides…
both sides
“Both sides” sophistry rhetoric was old and tired a decade ago. It’s very obvious where you stand behind that crumbling mask of enlightened centrism.
Welp, turns out I was a lib/rightist…
What should I say?
Welp, turns out I was a lib/rightist…
What should I say?
Bad bot. You don’t even understand the context of the discussion here.
I will not have you slander the comrade who finally sent
to hell to become 
.Bad bot.
Everyone You Disagree With Is A Bot/NPC, A Bedtime Story For Scratched Liberals.
You don’t even understand the context of the discussion here.
Jordan Peterson already wore out that gimmick. Find another one, bucko.
Everyone You Disagree With Is A Bot/NPC
Nah, just the accounts that come out of nowhere to post irrelevant nonsense that has nothing to do with the discussion.
Jordan Peterson already wore out that gimmick.
I don’t follow propagandists such as him, but you must be a big fan to be so familiar with him, which is entirely unsurprising to me as your entire instance appears to be 4chan users doing a poor job of cosplaying as leftists.
just the accounts that come out of nowhere
I’ve been around for years. I existed outside of your bubble and you can’t banish me with solipsism or fantasies of being the Main Character while pretending that people you disagree with are bots/NPCs or whatever you want to fantasize about.
The fact that you so quickly dehumanize people you argue with just screams cryptofascist tendencies. You’d love to wear the armband and put “bots” in mass graves, wouldn’t you?
your entire instance appears to be 4chan users
You say this while being that mad that pronoun preferences exist somewhere that you do not approve of.
Lmao I’ve interacted with plenty of hexbear users but this comment takes the cake as one of the most unhinged, off the wall comments I’ve ever read.
Congrats for being on lemmy for years, but that has nothing to do with anything said here, nor does pronoun preference.
It’s no wonder you all need to travel in packs. Without your fellow cult-like cosplayers manipulating the discussion with your blatant falsehoods and fabrications, you’d find zero support and be all alone and on display as the charlatans that you are.
Lmao
Not fooling me.
I’ve interacted with plenty of hexbear users
You aren’t demonstrating any knowledge or understanding, just entrenched liberal smugness.
most unhinged
Liberals try to describe those that disagree with them without ableism challenge. Difficulty level: “DAE LE UNHINGED.”
cult-like cosplayers
Being a status quo defending default state smug bootlicker for western hegemony doesn’t require a costume, just the belief that you’re smart by accepting whatever the powerful decide to do.
you’d find zero support and be all alone
Is Hexbear a “hivemind” that “travels in packs” or sad lonely people? Make up your mind; otherwise you’re just barking out ur-fascist “the enemy is both too strong and too weak” talking points.
Lmao at the fucking audacity to post the most common drivel known to man and then call @UlyssesT@hexbear.net a bot
I could train an LLM on Reddit and have it spit out your dime-a-dozen takes after 5 minutes. I’ve got no clue where to start if I wanted a machine to spit out his wordslurries.That’s typical though, it’s always the most average NPC-types that think they’re big thinkers with big thoughts the rest of us haven’t heard before. Your type will wander into any conversation and say “heh, but what about [thing everyone knows], bet you didn’t consider that!”
and if you get any pushback it’s obviously not because people are capable of independent thought - you aren’t, and you’re so smart!In conclusion fuck your mother
I’ve got no clue where to start if I wanted a machine to spit out his wordslurries.
Thanks, I suppose.
Hahaha I tried to find a way to express your ability to create funny new phrasings, while still sticking to theme of the text (drivel, spit, etc) without being mean. Didn’t quite work sadly
Usually when I make a mistake while trying to act in good faith, I apologize. Posting about the interaction without apology and flashing names of non-mods involved is not the way to correct your mistake, nor to garner sympathy.
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I did apologize to the mod I emailed. Not looking for sympathy, frankly I was more interested from a technical perspective as to why her pronouns aren’t showing on Jerboa, but they were on the browser.
Browsers will collapse white space, line breaks are converted to spaces.
Jerboa does not collapse white space, and instead rendered the display name with the line breaks. But, one possible reason is that, the area for usernames/display names can only display 1 line, so all of the pronouns got cut off.
That wasn’t your question though. If a technical jerboa question is what you intended to ask, about 90% of your post didn’t need to be included and the question in the title needed to be very different.
As to your edit, I would not recommend PM’ing the user directly; that may be very unwelcome and further breach rules of that community. Personally, I would have asked the mods for a chance to edit my comment and apologize publicly. But with previous history of your self-described “psychosis”, if I were the mod I would be skeptical of your motivations.
Ya the admin of Blajah made a solid point that I should have anonymized the post, I rarely post/comment, so not super familiar with the etiquette. Definitely will keep that in mind in the future. & hey my person, there are a lot of severe mental disorders other than gender dysphoria that exist out there :|
Nah it can’t be expected
No.
If somebody corrects you about gender, just say woops, correct yourself, and move on. It’s an honest mistake, a simple fix, and nobody should be offended. Especially online. If they are still offended, it’s because they want to be.
Especially since in this case it was not even the person that was misgendered that called it out. Maybe the original person doesn’t even care.
I think the issue here is that it wasn’t a case of “somebody corrects you about their gender”. It was “a third unrelated person comes in and rudely yells at you that you should have already known not to use a turn of phrase”.
The user’s pronouns were in her username, OP’s client just doesn’t display additional lines.
If they don’t list their pronouns and i can’t tell by their speech i just go neutral. Checking profiles for gender is definitely not considered necessary in the circles i run in. If poster doesn’t make it clear and doesn’t have pronouns listed honest mistakes will be made and forgiven
Sometimes moderation is ridiculous. More “zealous” moderation teams just strike everyone relentlessly. Usually the kind of people that make boomers label every young people as snowflakes
Back when I was on Reddit, on the LTT subreddit, I started reading rumours that formerly known as Anthony (I am here meming with the whole X ordeal), had transitioned into Emily, and I checked the website sorta confused. I thought it was just a mistake or a joke until I saw it actually confirmed. So I did that whole party meme with me at the corner not realising that he had transitioned into she, and everyone else already having congratulated her. This got me banned.
People get banned for less while certain other shit just stays up. It is all about mods bias, thats just how things are.
Why would I give a shit what boomers think of me?
More “zealous” moderation teams just strike everyone relentlessly. Usually the kind of people that make boomers label every young people as snowflakes
So your concern is that boomers will get upset about it, not that boomers are fucking ridiculous lead-brained assholes that can’t handle change?
For someone calling queers snowflakes you sound real salty over being banned for transphobia over a year ago
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