Sure “Aww” as long as it’s on the other side of the glass…
These are the trials moose and bear aspire to be.
They will destroy you for no other reason than they can. Geese, swans, and all their seemingly gorgeously-downed ilk are creatures of pure torment born of darkness and rage, set upon mankind to rend your flesh and subdue your very spirit. To revel in leaving you forever burdened with the echo of your own wails when beset upon by these brutishly-beaked manifestations of natures ire. They live to feast on the withered remains of dignity the hubris of your humanity might have allowed you and to suggest otherwise is to admit you’ve never actually encountered one.
They’re why Canadians can be so nice in the face of a harsh and bitter world. To live, never mind thrive, among these miserable creatures is to know you can withstand any petty horror the world could summon. From the time they’re old enough to walk themselves to school Canadian children run daily gauntlets of these unholy abominations. Never mind pampered heroes like Leonidas and his spear, Canada’s younglings are armed - on days when fortune smiled upon us - with little more than a hockey stick and, perhaps, hand-me-down pads. But for those who survived, well, like the man says: you ain’t gotta flex nuts if you know you got ‘em.
Sure “Aww” as long as it’s on the other side of the glass…
These are the trials moose and bear aspire to be.
They will destroy you for no other reason than they can. Geese, swans, and all their seemingly gorgeously-downed ilk are creatures of pure torment born of darkness and rage, set upon mankind to rend your flesh and subdue your very spirit. To revel in leaving you forever burdened with the echo of your own wails when beset upon by these brutishly-beaked manifestations of natures ire. They live to feast on the withered remains of dignity the hubris of your humanity might have allowed you and to suggest otherwise is to admit you’ve never actually encountered one.
They’re why Canadians can be so nice in the face of a harsh and bitter world. To live, never mind thrive, among these miserable creatures is to know you can withstand any petty horror the world could summon. From the time they’re old enough to walk themselves to school Canadian children run daily gauntlets of these unholy abominations. Never mind pampered heroes like Leonidas and his spear, Canada’s younglings are armed - on days when fortune smiled upon us - with little more than a hockey stick and, perhaps, hand-me-down pads. But for those who survived, well, like the man says: you ain’t gotta flex nuts if you know you got ‘em.