Yeah I was an anorexic teenager and while I didn’t just keep getting smaller, was maintaining at 99lbs, 5’9" for years. I weigh about 150 now and even though I literally feel so good physically, and understand that’s kinda unusual at my age, and have managed to at least keep my bone mass (it’s low, obviously, but not declining, made it through menopause with all of it, and that’s also unusual) and logically understand that:
This is considered smack dab perfect weight for my height and age.
Losing weight now would be kind of dumb and counterproductive.
I cannot shake the fear and dislike and anxiety over being this big. I don’t want to be 99lb, no way no how absolutely not. But at every single point between that and this I feel too fat. There is no weight that will look how I want, though, and again, I suspect this here is ideal because nothing hurts and I’m strong, though not fast. I know it’s my mind that is the problem, and not my body. But knowing it doesn’t make me not feel too big.
Yeah I was an anorexic teenager and while I didn’t just keep getting smaller, was maintaining at 99lbs, 5’9" for years. I weigh about 150 now and even though I literally feel so good physically, and understand that’s kinda unusual at my age, and have managed to at least keep my bone mass (it’s low, obviously, but not declining, made it through menopause with all of it, and that’s also unusual) and logically understand that:
This is considered smack dab perfect weight for my height and age.
Losing weight now would be kind of dumb and counterproductive.
I cannot shake the fear and dislike and anxiety over being this big. I don’t want to be 99lb, no way no how absolutely not. But at every single point between that and this I feel too fat. There is no weight that will look how I want, though, and again, I suspect this here is ideal because nothing hurts and I’m strong, though not fast. I know it’s my mind that is the problem, and not my body. But knowing it doesn’t make me not feel too big.