I just realized that I’ve made a horrible and irreversible mistake. I’ve booked my entire family to drive a full day (with a toddler) to stay in an Airbnb for a full week, centered around an event that is actually happening the week before we arrive.

I realize that my ADHD probably played some role in this, but having an explanation doesn’t really stop me from calling myself every hurtful and inappropriate synonym of the word “stupid”. It’s only full blast inside of my head and it’s inescapable.

I can feel the absolute, white-hot, nuclear rage boiling up inside of me. I am seething with self-hatred right now…this realization has just ruined my entire summer, and rendered months of difficult preparations and thousands of dollars of travel plans completely pointless.

If anyone has some kind words, I could really use them right now as I’m definitely supplying myself with a fair amount of hateful, abusive, and violent self-talk.

I literally cannot believe how stupid I feel and how broken my brain is. I am drowning in shame and embarrassment right now.

  • 18107@aussie.zoneEnglish
    13·
    23 days ago

    I understand how frustrating it is. You can tell yourself “mistakes happen”, but that doesn’t seem to make you feel any better.

    Imagine instead if your partner had put in months of work to make you happy and then made a single mistake. Would you be angry at them, or would you still love them for the effort they put in and forgive them?

    Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are solutions, but it will take time to think of them – even the really obvious ones. Take some time off from concentrating on the problem (even sleep on it if you have the time), consciously relax, then start looking for what can be changed. Strong emotions make it really difficult to think logically.

    You may be surprised at how much most people care. Many people will empathise with your position (some who’ve done the same thing) and do everything in their power to help you fix it.

    In the end it doesn’t really matter if nothing works out. You’ll still be disappointed, but there will be other opportunities in the future.