It’s my 3rd attempt at writing this so forgive me for being disorganized. I’ll try to keep it short.
Basically after long time of denying it, I have came to a conclusion that I have ADHD about 3-4 months ago. I consulted my psychiatrist about it and she says that I indeed have many ADHD symptoms (im 19m, parents pay for everything).
I live outside of US, so attending college is basically someone everyone does and so I picked Management as a field of study (you know where this is going). I had a massive hyperfixation for programming like 2 years ago but because It caused me to succumb to my interest instead of doing homework and studying, I developed a massive aversion towards it.
I have now been attending college for a few days and except for group exercises (they’re very stimulating so I have no issues with focus) my focus is completely trash. Lectures being the worst, I found tapping the desk with both of my hands to temporarily help me focus, but after this I feel completely mentally exhausted. I come home and cannot do absolutely anything.
I now think of switching to computer science since maybe I’ll renew my interest. Needless to say, Management is the worst fucking field of study I could’ve chosen since IT TOOK ME A 2 DAYS TO FINALLY GET MYSELF TO WRITE THIS. So basically when I told my parents about me wanting to switch field they replied by listining every adhd symptom i have and always had and complain about it. “you’re always bored”, “you keep changing your mind”, “you always begin most difficult stuff then drop it.”
So far my hyperfixation’s had been (in order):
- programming
- stock market
- japanese language
And when I asked about getting official diagnosis they said I make shit up, then keep on complaining about every adhd personality trait i have. I told them to read about adhd on wikipedia, they didnt. They probably think im trying to get prescription for stimulants or something to get high idk. Just tell me itll be alright im shaking from anxiety. I couldnt focus on lectures because they were only a little interwsting. I also cant even watch tv series alone for the same reason and everything bad about my life has been about school. only a lecture from economics was interesting to me but i failed at exercises because 1. careless mistakes, 2. different than expected way of thinking that doesnt align with a key, although i could argue that its correct. shshdhdhcjaksjcb just tell me itll be fine. im already diagnosed with autism (by regular psychiatrist during normal meetings lol) but shell never diagnose me with adhd since its too risky, except that i dont even want stimulants just someyhing like guafancine or wellbutrin.tell mr itll be alright im losing my mind here
Hey is actually really great that you’re figuring this out before it’s too late. (Not that it’s ever too late but I think you know what I mean)
I agree with someone else’s suggestion that a second opinion is worth pursuing.
I don’t know a lot about autism but I think it has some overlapping symptoms so I can totally understand the doctors hesitation.
I’ve only found medication somewhat helpful, and don’t agree with the others that it is definitely what you need. But I do agree that you definitely do need help.
When I was in school (undiagnosed) one of the techniques that really worked for me was what I’ve now learned is called body doubling. Basically doing everything with someone else. I had a classmate that took good notes, but didn’t really internalize them while taking them, so it was my responsibility to pay attention in class so I could explain his notes to him while we did the homework assignments together. It worked really well (in the classes we had together).