as said previously I’m a nurse, which means the overwhelming majority of employees are women. Gossiping, being unauthentic, cattiness and passive aggressiveness is a daily occurrence.
My current unit: there are 2 men that seem to be completely stoic (I don’t know what word would describe them better): they ignore drama and jabs, even if directed at them, they are punctual with their pauses, I mean really, 30 minutes and that’s it, and can ignore when other coworkers lazy around, even if it means they have to be the ones doing most of the work, extra work they don’t receive any extra money or recognition for.
I am writing in awe, because as much as I’d like to be this thick skinned, I am not. The feeling of being treated unfairly rubs me the wrong way really fast. My strategy so far has been to lazy around so much as my direct coworkers, even if they’re part of an established group at the ward I don’t belong to. They’re the ones supposed to be showing me around and teach me. If they don’t work, why should I?
I believe this is a trait of mine, something nearly impossible to change, it would make more sense to change the setting than trying to change me, to change jobs. I don’t know how to play this game where I am, in a workplace where most employees are women.
But my question remains to all of you who are this thick skinned: how? I don’t understand it. Don’t you find it tiring? Doesn’t it make you feel like shit when you go back home? Don’t you feel taken advantage of?
The trick I use is: I am here to exchange time for money. Whatever happens during that time, I really don’t care. The company tells me what to do during those hours and I do it to the best of my ability. Someone complains at me? I don’t care. Someone makes me do extra work? I don’t care. Someone’s having fun behind the trash compactor for the fourth time this month? I don’t care. A customer attacks me because we’re out of a particular single beer can, even though we have it in different sizes and multipacks? …ok, that one was fucking hilarious in retrospect and I’ve dined out on that story for a decade.
I tried REALLY hard to get my wife to see it this way when she was in a shitty job. But in our situation, it was 20 hours/4 days a week, and we didn’t NEED the money. She has a guaranteed income from a work injury until a year after retirement age which (in addition to my income) is just enough for us to live on, her income from that job was all gravy and made a pretty massive impact to our financial comfort levels. I begged her to just let it slide, ignore the shitty managers and the lazy coworkers and all the petty vindictive bullshit and look at it as 20 hours out of her week for us to have fun money. But nope, she couldn’t. 😢
I’ve found a lot of people get hung up on small details, or have trouble prioritising tasks.