• PhoenixDog@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    You literally described a lot of what my partner deals with every day. We’ve been married for over 8 years and they still feel uncertainty that I will leave them, or they’ll go weeks without showering because that requires too many spoons and they’re insomniac and haven’t slept in 5 days and just eating a teacup amount of food when I make dinner for us.

    Doesn’t mean I don’t love them any less. Can it be frustrating? Of course. Can it be annoying? Of course. But I married this person because I love the person, disabilities and all.

    It’s not fetishizing anything. Their disabilities make them 1 of 1. I married an incredibly unique individual and I love them wholeheartedly. And all the positives I get out of the relationship greatly outweigh the negative quirks.

      • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world
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        24 hours ago

        Love how you not only assumed the reasons I love my partner but also misgendered them at the same time.

        Maybe you should sit down and think about how you view others before judging them.

        • Tiresia@slrpnk.net
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          23 hours ago

          Sorry for the misgendering, I don’t know how I messed that up.

          I thought I was paraphrasing what you said. So if you still have the patience to help me out, could you explain how the things I said were wrong?

          • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world
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            9 hours ago

            They’re autistic. Their disabilities are them. They literally make them who they are as a human. All the negatives and all the positives and all the difficulties and everything, they are who they are because of it. And I love them as a person, not despite or thanks to anything. I’m ADHD with a couple other neurospicy crap and I struggle with a lot of things. One of them is misinterpreting language on top of being dyslexic. They sometimes need to repeat or rephrase something they’re telling me multiple times (and I can see they’re becoming annoyed) because my brain just won’t process the words correctly. But when it clicks not only do I understand but they feel proud they found the right words for me.

            Mental disorders are literally part of the person. They make the person that I/You love.

              • Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip
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                7 hours ago

                What happened is you replied to Pheonixdog as if they were the person you were originally talking to named Una, which made it seem like assumption was happening, when it was just confusion.

                You replied “your comment makes it look like you love them thanks to their disabilities” to Pheonix, but it was Una’s comment.

      • kungen@feddit.nu
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        23 hours ago

        My keyboard psychologist also says that person has some kind of codependency issues… but if they’re truly happy, all’s good and I wish them well.