I don’t know what kind of vibe I’m giving off, but I always seem to get the “Deepstate, amiright?!” drivers. Okay, that’s a lie… I do know my vibe… I live in a Texas suburb and I’m a cishet white guy who wears cargo shorts and dadcaps and likes sports.

I hate it, but still, this person is taking me somewhere I need to be so I want to be nice, but I can’t quite bring myself to pretend to agree. Unfortunately, a polite “Oh, I’m not sure I’m sold on that” just gets them helpfully trying to probe, “so why would Kamala do a pizzagate if she weren’t a lizard person?”

Fuck me, I need some tattoos.