“And if you join our ranks today, they never will!”

-Me, while extending my hand out in invitation for YOU READING THIS to join the…

Associated

Society of

Snail

Hunters and

Ancient

Truth

Seekers

…yes, I know. Yes, we’re technically the “A.S.S.H.A.T.S.”… Yes very funny, okay, have your moment… It’s a secret society okay, so it doesn’t actually even come up, nobody will know, it’s fine… IT’S FINE.