Hey folks, so I recently got a job, which has been pretty great but very tiring. And I am finding it difficult to have that balance while also living with ADHD. I’m on meds, though might have to discuss with my psych on putting me on different meds but that’s another story for another time.
I think I’m just also having trouble going from no work at all to instant full time work. Luckily my boss is letting me come in starting at 10:30am, but eventually it’ll be a 9am gig and I also have delayed sleep phase cycle too. Any pointers, help, what have you would be awesome. If not, kind words are also appreciated.
It is hard and I don’t have a great answer, but one thing I try to do for myself is to always have something scheduled that I am looking forward to. It can be something big (like a concert) or small (weekend donuts). It really helps me to feel like I am not spending my whole life working.
That’s a good plan actually!
ADHD people thrive on routine. I think you’ll adjust to the new job over a couple of weeks. Its going to be tiring absorbing all the new information at first but I hope the job gives you a sense of autonomy and freedom. Good luck!
Yeah could just be early days, and it’s such a new thing. Like, I mean I’m almost in my 30s but this feels like an “adult” job so to speak. My previous job was in hospatality, and not saying that’s not an adult job… moreso that I’ve always felt so behind in what my peers do. I’m excited for the routine aspect, because being at home and doing nothing but playing video games, while I do wish for it atm, it’s not stimulating enough.
But yeah, again, could be early days, I’ll see how I go. My boss is nice and chill, and like I said in another comment, hopefully I can have some WFH opportunities once I really get into the job. So yeah… thank you!
Are there other things you wish you could be doing instead of video games? Sometimes there’s that “brain off” activity where you’re just doing a thing but you aren’t engaged and it’s really unfulfilling. Even sometimes when I’m playing video games, for me personally, I WANT to be playing video games but I’m in the wrong headspace and it just feels like time spent.
Important note: everyone’s ADHD is individual, my struggles are not necessarily going to be your struggles, keep that in mind.
I had my first real job experience starting last October (it was a full-time internship for university, which was supposed to be 95 full-time work days within 6 months). The conditions were ideal: friendly and respectful coworkers, a beautiful, park-like property with a pond and walkways, I could come in whenever I liked, as long as I wouldn’t miss a meeting (which didn’t happen before 9:00), decent pay for an internship. And to top it all off, the company worked with my favorite programming language.
Despite all that, I noticed how this full-time job slowly ate me up. I noticed how, from day to day, my mental battery drained progressively further. It got more and more clear to me that there was no way for me to work and have enough free time and sleep in 24 hours. I came home, mentally exhausted, and often couldn’t do much more than just sit down and watch some videos until bedtime. My personal projects and interests had to be completely stopped in their tracks. Going to bed on time left me incredibly unsatisfied (which, over weeks, became misery), but if I tried to give my mind enough time to be satisfied, I sacrificed important sleep hours. Either my mind was deteriorating, or my body.
In hindsight, my 2-week covid quarantine in November was an important break for my mind, despite how horrible being sick was. I also almost reached a breaking point before Christmas, where I used 6 tactically chosen holiday days to bring it up to another 2 weeks. I felt better afterwards, but not recovered.
Ultimately, I lasted 4 1/2 months, until I crashed down with a horrible burnout in February. 18 days short of what I needed for the internship. I sincerely hoped I could power through the rest to be done with it. I really tried. But at that time, my mental resources were dried up, completely. I didn’t function at all, anymore. I became an empty husk of myself.
Luckily, with some explanation and a doctoral certificate, I got the university’s green light to pick it up at a later time and just work the 18 days, instead of having to redo the whole internship. If that would have been denied, I would have probably quit university then and there. Because having to go through that again, would have been unthinkable for me.
The most important thing this internship taught me was not related to the work itself, nor its industry branch, it was the realization that I’m incompatible with full-time work. That’s why I recently struck a deal with the company, I’m going to work the last 18 days, but only 3 days per week, instead of 5. I hope 2 extra free days per week will be enough for me to remain stable.
You might get used to your job in a few weeks. Or you might feel like I did. The only person who will know the best, is you. If you are like me, just be sure to pull the emergency break before you crash down like I did.
That’s great that you found that, though sad to find it in that way. I have friends who feel the same and managed to negotiate longer 3 or 4 day weeks.
You’ve got this. Remember - be honest with your supervisors about where you are at (maybe not too honest, there are drastically differing opinions about whether to disclose your disability or not). Get to know what their exact expectations are, and let them know what works best for you - if it’s a job where you have that kind of flexibility. Some people like getting lists, or making checklists for the boring stuff. Some folks like methods like https://gettingthingsdone.com/ .
Either way, remember to check in with your body. Make sure you are eating and sleeping. Try your best to get your sleep cycle back to a healthy place, if your body is willing. Check in with your feelings - depression and anxiety can sap away a lot of energy when you aren’t even noticing them.
You’ve got this. In a few weeks, everything will seem routine, maybe even boring :)
I’m kind of in the same boat. My boss allows me somewhat flexible hours, fridge at work always stocked with decent beer, nice work environment overall. But very tiring and a lot of responsibility. What has helped me: I’ve started working out again. Getting up at the crack of dawn and exhausting myself is easier for me than waking up between 7am and 11am to go to work. No idea why, but that’s what helped me. Of course I’m pretty tired when I get home, but that’s just an added benefit, because usually I’d stay awake till 1am and complain that I’m dead tired the next day.
Hopefully I can eventually do some WFH stuff, because it’s mostly admin/writing stuff. Where I work is in the same suburb I live in so I’m not worried about travel times and such. But even though I live in the same suburb it’s still just like a slog.
