I my experience, the oldest child is forced to mature faster by being required to perform childcare duties, especially in families with many children.
Younger siblings basically “get to be a kid” longer than older ones.
This is unfair to both older and younger siblings for a myriad of reasons, but both are a failure of parenting, and society as a whole. The parents should not be forcing the dynamic, and society should not be putting parents in a position where they feel they have to.
As for “feeling immature” as an adult… That is entirely dependent on what you measure maturity by. My wife and I sing nonsense tunes at each other, sometimes just look up and go “QUACK!” for no reason. We have gone to a playground to go swinging. We have gone outside to play in the snow.
I didn’t get my first job without my mother’s help until 20. I didn’t get my license until 26. I didn’t get my first full time job until 33. I absolutely hate going to a store at all, let alone by myself. Although if I’m being honest I would rather go by myself since it’s faster and less chance of my wife grabbing 10 extra things because we passed the aisle and she went something snack-y.
Remember, “Autism Spectrum Disorder” is, as the name implies, a spectrum. As such everyone is on it. Most people are gathered in a general area area (the people who would be considered “normal” by someone who has a more traditional old way of thinking) I personally believe I’m a little further toward the “autism” side, based on a bunch of comparing my personal experience with others who are diagnosed. I don’t believe it’s that big a deal for me, as I am fully capable of functioning on my own as an adult.
A bit of armchair psychology, I’d wager you’re a bit like my wife and due to narcissistic and withholding parents you likely need more reassurance than the average person. This isn’t a failure on your part at all, and it’s not a “developmental disability” it’s just a bit of childhood trauma.
To answer more directly:
In my opinion, yes eldest siblings often mature faster. Feeling immature is probably normal, and maturity is a pretty vague notion in general. ASD in general isn’t as big a deal as many people think. If you’ll forgive me for saying so, your family kind of sucks.
As everyone should.
Nobody should ever be looking at the 2nd Ammendment and think to themselves “oh god I just can’t wait, please lemme do it now”
It should always be “please don’t make me do this”, while preparing to do this.
sorry I went on a bit of a rant but ORGANIZE, PEOPLE! is the gist. Hidden to save space.
The obvious republican mindset of “I can’t wait to be allowed to legally murder people” has always been crazy to me. As a kid I heard adults round me talking about how they’re “just looking for an excuse” and it very much seemed like someone who simply wanted to kill people.
That said, I have always accepted the possibility that one day I might be forced to kill in self defense or defense of others if I plan to exercise my 2nd Ammendment right. The last 15 years have been a truly eye-opening experience since I left the sheltered religious life I was raised in.
To anyone reading who is in the US, start with organizing with friends and neighbors who are like-minded and believe nobody should be kidnapped and sent to a concentration camp. I have a decent number of LGBT+ and immigrant friends , and have begun instructing some on the use of firearms. They have always been very anti-gun and for good reason, (I will not pretend the US doesn’t have major issues with firearms) but now have decided since their lives very well might be on the line tomorrow they need some way of protecting themselves.
I am doing what I can in that regard, but the most effective thing is the act of organizing itself. Many of them didn’t know each other. Now there’s a network of people who can assist each other when something happens.
Just this week a few of us had to venture out to un-bury the front door of one of the group that is disabled and got snowed in. They lost power and only had their battery pack and a phone on low battery to call for help, and had we not been organized the way we are they very well could have been frozen by the time emergency services got around to their call. We set them up with a kerosene heater, a CO detector, and extra battery packs to keep the phone charged until power was restored.