Hopefully this isn’t unwanted advice, but I have also cut out a lot of meat from my diet and I started getting weird side effects. (Lost feeling in my hands and feet, got dizzy a lot, felt extra stupid.)

After seeing a doctor, I take vitamin B and D supplements and it helped a lot. If you can’t see a doctor, you might consider trying some vitamin B and seeing if that helps. Apparently lots of vegetarians and vegans take it too.

I’m a lesbian and my partner is also partially disabled. She manages her conditions but as far as we know, it’s as good as it will get. (I have chronic issues too but I am typically mobile.)

We like to game together. We watch movies together. She also games with her friends and I go out and do other more physically demanding activities with my own friends. We like to discover new food and talk about politics.

We found that our sense of humor and morality aligns well and we enjoy each other’s company. That and the fact that she was independent drew me to her.

Good luck out there.

Oof I forget about these. Or just the plain hypocrites that publicly shame abortion but will secretly get one (or have their partner get one) and go right back to shaming abortion. Or substitute any other thing they have a moral objection to, really.

Their own situation called for it, and it is fine because they are “right.” But those other people, it is not fine because they are “wrong.”

“I suffered, and so should you. Stop complaining!”

It really does come down to this for a lot of folks. Anyone that tries to fix it are considered “whiners” to these folks.

“I behaved the correct way, and this did not happen to me. If everyone else did the same as me, they wouldn’t suffer. Since their suffering is preventable, they cannot complain and must suck it up.”

“See? I’m on your side. Treat me better than you treat them, please.”

Source: live in a red US state and have talked to a few conservative women and minorities

The sound is bad enough but with properly constructed walls, it’s not a problem.

I have other problems with shared walls. Your neighbors have cockroaches? Now you do too! Bedbugs? Yep those can come on in too. If you live in an apartment, then you bet the landlord will cheap out and not do as effective treatments. You think being clean and not keeping things in cardboard will stop them? Maybe temporarily but they’re just waiting to come back out from the walls where they weren’t treated. Joy!

The other thing is that if your neighbor smokes cigarettes inside, then you get some bonus secondhand smoke. If you have bad reactions even with allergy medications and HEPA filters, well I guess it’s time for you to move or suffer. (You didn’t want to use your PTO on anything not sick days right?)

Did your neighbors have a plumbing problem that they neglected? Congratulations on your new mold in your shared walls. (You wanted to call code enforcement on your landlord about this? Good luck, they won’t enforce it.)

I’m sure there are real solutions to my above problems but my reality is that the only solution is to move when it’s too much to bear. (Haven’t lived in one place for more than 2 years because of it…)

Welcome to Lemmy, glad you’re here. :)

It is so much bullshit that you get put in that situation for something that isn’t your fault, but glad you had options. It is appalling how we neglect the sick and disabled. My partner was physically messed up for nearly a decade because she could not afford the healthcare or the time off needed. (Fortunately she is doing much better now after I could support her financially to get treated.) In a time of great abundance, this should not be a common occurrence.

I hope you find answers and relief soon.

You are so very right. However, these facts do not deter these managers. (And other people that think like this.)

The culture I grew up with valued this type of thing.

Why did you miss work? A cold? If you’re not in the hospital and you’re not here, you are a slacker.

It doesn’t help when you don’t have any more paid sick time and you need to keep paying the rent.

It’s so infuriating that it feels like life is structured in such a way that it is difficult or impossible to recover from these types of things without exposing people to your own sickness.

No excuses for people that are sick don’t stay home when they have the opportunity though.

ETA: masking does definitely help though and I’m glad the culture doesn’t find it as unusual as before

Getting a BS in Computer Science was huge towards my success. I had to work while in college due to lack of funds. My job as a programmer paid very little before I got my degree. Even with years of experience, I had a hard time getting a dev job with an employer that paid better without my degree. With the degree, it was significantly easier.

I’ve heard of stories of folks that “made it” in dev without a degree. I did not have the charisma or whatever other skill they had to do it…

I will say I have quite a few student loans because my scholarships weren’t enough (I was an average student at best) and my family made a lot of money but didn’t help me so I didn’t get other aid I would have normally qualified for. For me, my very well paying job outweighs the student loan payment. My gamble paid off. (It was a fairly safe gamble, but one can never really know in the uncertainty of life.)

However, even in the last few years school has gone up in price A LOT so that may change the calculations for future folks.

I haven’t thought about this game in forever. My friend had this at her house. Thanks for sharing!

How fulfilled is your life without a romantic partner? Do you know what you want?

The worst partners I had were the ones that had nothing going on. No goals, no hobbies, nothing. They expected me to be their world.

The better relationships I had were with people that knew what they wanted from life. They didn’t need me to complete them, but I was definitely a welcome addition.

I do not believe I am conventionally attractive, but there are people that like me. For every fella that only dates skinny blondes, there’s another that wouldn’t give them a second look. Additionally, if someone really likes you for you, you might just get more physically attractive to them even if you’re not their type. (It has happened to me!)

As for money, yes some people will only look at you if you have a lot of money. At least they filter themselves out if you don’t have it. You don’t have to be perfect with money, but as long as you are reasonable enough with money, you should be fine.

Some low self-esteem is workable, but if you are always ragging on yourself it gets grating. I was with this guy and he kept telling me how ugly he was. I would always reassure him. It was exhausting after a while. I think everyone needs validation every now and again, but constantly?! Ahhh!

If you get this stuff down, at least then you will have better chances with women. (Or whatever gender you prefer.) If your only goal is to get a girlfriend, then that is not so great. If it’s only one of your goals or something you’re passively open to, then you are in a much better position. Relationship opportunities, romantic or not, seem to crop up when you’re doing something else you enjoy.

Yeah I got potential. I put in a lot of effort to reach that potential.

Did the effort pay off? No.

Did it look like I didn’t do anything? Yes.

When I asked for help I was told “just do it.” So I kept trying really hard but still the results were far less than the effort put in. For some reason I burnt the hell out overextending myself to get stuff done.

I feel like the task is moving water from a pond to a large basin. Everyone else got buckets and I got a ladle.

Yes. I noticed that my shoulder hurts when I do that so I have been making an effort to stop it.

With your back to the water, barbecue. Messy as hell. But that doesn’t matter cause you’re in the shower.

Time to fight the cacademons.

Oh man I am crazy for Jones Soda. Fufu Berry (which is hard to find in my area), Cream, and Berry Lemonade are my favorites.

It is pretty expensive, but for an occasional treat it’s not bad.

I used to love Coke, Mountain Dew, and Monster but I cut back and now they taste gross to me.

I went to artificially sweetened sodas. I started getting these gnarly tension headaches. (And sometimes my jaw would hurt too.) Bummer. I bit the bullet and just went with drinking less soda instead.

Ice really makes water taste a lot better at least.

What would have made you feel better? My guess is that you would have been happy if the other person wasn’t upset with what you said and didn’t disagree with you, right? Do you think if you were able to explain yourself, then the other person would have understood you and not disagreed with you?

It’s likely that would have not been the case. There is a very good chance that they still would have disagreed with you even after elaboration. And you know what? It’s not your fault.

You will have a large set of views about different facets of life. Even if they were all the most sane, rational views, many people will disagree with them. (And in different combinations. You may have Andy agree with you on X, Y, and Z but disagree on Q, R, and S. Brad may think you’re right with X, R, and S but disagree on the rest.)

It is inevitable. So, what is someone to do?

First, is it something that matters? If it’s something like an opinion of which celebrity has the best smile, remind yourself it doesn’t matter.

But if it’s something that does matter? Make sure you educate yourself. Accept evidence to the contrary to what you believe (from reliable sources). Keep an open mind. Accept input. Be aware of your own bias. If you need to update your own viewpoint because you found out you were wrong… Then do it! Yes, it sucks that you were wrong. But it’s better to have been wrong then correct yourself than to stay wrong. This is important… If you’re wrong, act the way you would want the other person to act if they were wrong. (You will make the world a better place doing this.)

Now, does this person still not agree with you (and you updated your own viewpoint based on facts)? Can you change their mind? Probably not. Is this a failing on your part? No. You can’t control other people, just like they can’t control you. But you can control yourself.

Being told we’re wrong sucks. But if you do not have sufficient evidence that you are wrong, then you should be confident in what you think. Instead of framing this scenario as “this person disagrees with me,” frame it as “I disagree with this person.” With time and practice, you will more easily move to “I disagree with this person, and I am ok with it.”

One last note. If it’s something that is very important to you, make sure to do what you can to make the change you want to see in the world. If you were very concerned about pollution for instance, do things like trash tag, buying less stuff, and advocating for your cause. This specific person may not help, but you can still live your life as a reflection of your own values to the best of your ability and maybe even collaborate with others as well.

I hope this helps.