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I’m spoiled now. I prefer ubiquiti equipment for my network, security camera, and even door access.
However, if you prefer completely open source I can recommend opnsense and openwrt. Personally I prefer a single point of configuration… So all ubiquiti for me… It makes it easy to restore a complete network configuration as you are discovering is a pain.
Maybe start with the new cloud gateway max as a router if you are interested.
Within guests these days I just use XFS, UFS, or NTFS depending on the os. The hypervisor can have zfs or ceph.