A few years back my sister passed away, I’m now the only child my parents have left. They live a few hours away and have for as long as I have been with my partner (7 years).
My parents are planning on moving to the place we now live to be closer to me. This has my partner worried that they will be over often or I will be over at their house more often. Her parents are very far away so can only visit once a year.
My parents are not the kind of people to show up uninvited to anyone’s house. They likely will come over once a month for dinner and I will probably go over by myself once a week.
We are both pretty private people so not having anyone over is just how we are and this potential change of more visits has her concerned that our privacy will be gone.
I am also fine with them not coming over often, I like it being just me and her but I do want my parents close when they have medical emergencies.
How do I approach this as currently she is a bit annoyed but taking a more “see how this pans out” attitude?
I don’t exactly want to jump the gun and talk to my parents ahead of time to make sure they don’t come over often because I don’t think they will and it might sour their relationship to her if they think she doesn’t want them over ever, even if I also don’t want them over often.
I have talked with my parents and they have said they aren’t going to come over unannounced.
I am a private person likely because they are private people and the thought of showing up at someone house without being invited is very much something that never happened growing up. I only kinda accept my best friend doing it and he would still call an hour ahead of time to let me know he was in the area. Now he is a 6 hour drive away so he would probably give me more notice now.
I think she is worried because my mom and dad are grieving but I don’t think they are going to change their social courtesies because of it. They are moving closer because if something happens to my dad they don’t want me driving hours to get to see him like in the past.
You also need to remember that just because they promised not to show up unannounced, they won’t visit too often to your liking. It’s gonna be even harder to have to turn them down when the visits become more frequent than you and your partner are comfortable with. I feel you though, my wife and I are the same in that we don’t really like visitors and prefer to have our house to ourselves only.
Stop thinking and assuming and talk that shit out with her to understand why it really worries her. If you’re not honest with each other then that shit isn’t gonna work man