I guess it’s another way of asking, “What event in your life had to most effective impact?”
Cancer. The trauma and pain I went through changed me and how I see the world. For a long time afterwards, I was stuck in a deep depression. I’ve been working through it all, but I feel like I lost 6 years of my life.
I realize now how fleeting our lives are and stopped thinking about things I wanted to do or pursue, and started executing on them. I got back into longboarding, learned 3D printing, metal working, etc. This life is all we get and nothing is guaranteed. I don’t want to be on my deathbed again thinking about all the things I wish I did.
Living in my native country and move out of my native country.
Probably the most pivotal one I can think of was my introduction into the industry I work in. Just an 18yr old who needed a job, got invited to check out a small CNC job shop by a family friend. Fell in love with the industry and explosively grew my knowledge and skills. I was at that job less than a year but still in the industry many years later.
Not sure what my life would’ve been like otherwise, I had goals that disappeared when I entered the industry. So maybe I would’ve reached those, or had more/different friends through schooling. Either way, this is where is am.
My last (and final) relationship.
I was deeply in love, but the other person broke up with me for valid reasons, and then pretended to take me back so they could mentally fuck with me, and it worked.
I’m now a depressive and a semi-hermit. Luckily for me I always liked being alone, or I’d be miserable, but the experience completely changed my personality and I don’t get close to people anymore.
Your experience reminds me of my attitude towards friends. I have become a hermit because my trust in other people has been ruined. I don’t even desire having friends anymore.
I have about five friends I trust implicitly.
I have hundreds of acquaintances I’m around for various reasons, and I like them, but I keep them all at arms length.
I have everything I need.
Same here, and for approximately the same reason (I left her because of the broken trust, she tried to get me back with a plan to fuck with me but I was already too fucked up over it).
It wasn’t my final relationship, but I’ll die alone and pretty happy. I have a couple of people that I actually trust and, same as you, a butt load of acquaintances that I enjoy being around. I generally use “friend” as shorthand for those people, but they’ll never really know me.
I’m very up front about relationships having a shelf life.
Same.
When I get lonely, Tinder’s a thing. We both go into it knowing it’s short-term, and it’s cool.
Having kids.
The last time a question like this was asked, I said it was when I enlisted in the US Army on Sept 5th, 2001 instead of Sept 12th, 2001. But in reality I probably would’ve enlisted either way (I was drinking the kool-aid back then) and when I enlisted it was on something called the Delayed Entry Program; I still had to finish my senior year of high school and didn’t leave for Basic Training until June 2002.
The actual life-changing moment that came out of that was taking advantage of the Hometown Recruiting Assistance Program right after I completed AIT. It’s essentially a 2 week temporary duty to go back home wearing your fancy new uniform to convince all your old high school buddies to sign up and be cool like you. I took it, did a couple recruitment events, signed up no one, and just enjoyed some free vacation time. This was March 2003, just a couple days before we invaded Iraq.
When I graduated AIT (your actual job training after basic training) I got orders to report to Ft Hood. Another guy, Watt, got the same orders. We had gone through Basic and AIT together, had the exact same MOS. I took HRAP, he did not. At the time, there were 2 major units on Ft Hood: the 4th Infantry Division and the 1st Cavalry Division. Watt showed up at Ft Hood and was assigned to 4th ID. I showed up a couple weeks later and was told that 4th ID was all filled up, so I went to 1st Cav instead.
4th ID deployed to Iraq in 2003, 1st Cav didn’t deploy until 2004. Because units were basically on a “1 year deployed, 1 year back home, 1 year deployed, 1 year back home…” rhythm this meant I ended up getting stop-lossed instead of getting out of the Army in 2006 when my original 4 year enlistment was up. While I was extended, I was selected to receive retraining on newer, modern equipment instead of the old crap designed to fight the Soviets I was originally trained on. This new training, and some contacts I made while on my second deployment, led to me getting a job with a defense contractor doing the exact same thing after I eventually got out. That job was overseas, where I happened to meet my future wife. And even though I’m in a slightly different field of work now, I can still draw a straight line between getting that experience and contacts and how I ended up where I am now.
The alternative, if I hadn’t taken 2 weeks vacation in 2003, is that I most likely would have gotten out of the Army as scheduled in 2006 but without any training that was directly applicable to a civilian job and without the networking contacts to land an overseas contractor gig.
Open heart surgery. 12/3/2018.
a baby coming out of my ex vagina. why? child support and slave waging up to 14 hrs a day
If you transitioned before the child was born, how exactly did the baby exit your body?
Deciding on the school for my master’s. Had two choices: the no. 1 school in the US at that time, or an up-and-coming pgogram. The top school would have set me back about 200k in debt, but I was virtually guaranteed a job with a starting salary of 150k+, and a career path to the C-suite. The other school would give me a free ride, but it was anyone’s guess where’d I end up. I picked the free ride, and ended with a dead-end job for 40k. That was 20 years ago. Since then, that job gave me the push to leave the US, settle elsewhere, find a wife, start a family, and have an exciting new job with career progression. The choice, when I was deciding, couldn’t have been more clearly defined, and for years I kept thinking what if I picked the top school. Not anymore…
Covid
Winner: Moving to Japan and getting out of the US. Both places have their problems, but I’d rather be here.
Runner up: Corona lockdowns caused me to do some thinking and soul-searching, but also finally made remote work somewhat of a thing. This ended up helping me be able to move to the countryside without the home loan companies being too weirded out by it.
Maybe, actually, my first punk rock show at 14. I still had trouble but pretty sure getting into that scene diverted me from severe alienation in school, and having older people as friends cushioned the blow when my dad died. I think without that I wouldn’t have lived this long.
But as an adult? Having kids for sure. Because I needed more money, went back to school, got a real job, and because my first pregnancy did so much more to heal my lingering anorexia than anything else - feeling like my body was real, and useful, and beautiful, I dunno how to explain it (and I’m sure this could go in the opposite direction for some) but for me it was quite healing. That set me on a different path and again, without them I probably wouldn’t have lived this long.
The last pivot point in my life was my breakup with my ex, that was a fast track to prosperity in a two income household with a guy who loves me for me. I wholeheartedly hope this trajectory holds.
So three inflection points I see.
When my brother killed himself back when I was a child. I don’t really want to talk about this too much but it impacted me severely, it gave me nightmares (which I still sometimes get to this day) and made me want to stop existing for a long time.
I’ve had therapy and have largely been able to recover though so I’m doing okay now, for a while I wasn’t though.
Pre brain injury, and post brain Ingush.
But seriously. Wear a crash helmet folks. Saved my life.
Running away from home at 17. Saved my life
