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I used to have an online friend who never really texts me first unless I do. Since they’re a leftie, I wished them on Happy Left-handers Day and they replied that I don’t need to wish them, which I only did to spark some conversation. This put me off and I went “Alr I won’t bother texting you ever” and they went “Ok”.
Haven’t texted them in 3 months, neither did they (as they don’t ever). Idk who is the idiot here, me, she or both.
I don’t really like ending friendships from my side, so I might text them on her birthday and see how it goes.
For the whole paragraph the pronoun in use is 'them ’ except for the end, it is ‘she’. Can I assume her sex is female and her gender is something different?
Also you sound like a caring and persistent person. It is valuable to have a friend like this.
Mad she didn’t get invited to a concert my GF bought tickets to. Welp
I mean, if my friends knew I was a huge fan of the band, were going and weren’t like, “tickets are £50, do you want one?” It would sting.
Thats a specific situation you’re imagining and isnt necessarily what happened
I did realise that it’s a specific situation but as the original post didn’t have more context, I didn’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to suggest some.
If OP wants to expand on the situation, they’re welcome to.
I wasn’t planning on it, my GF bought the tickets without asking me about it, and didn’t know about my pal being into the band. But my friend figured I was the one who left her out. Plus, not everyone gets invited to everything, hey I’m dating someone here. Called me up and berated me about being a bad friend without saying what it was she was mad about. I prefer not to have friends that use that kind of rhetoric.
Dude became an outspoken anti vaxxer, tin foil hat wearing plandemic twat.
The final nail was when he shows up at our business out of the blue one day (literally had not spoken with him in almost a year) where he had left some oil paintings & other artwork to pick them up, then sent a shitty passive aggressive text the next day about how they were not kept in perfect condition.
My dude, you left them without a word otherwise over 4 years ago, we have shit to do besides take care of discarded art.
Overdose
In 2016, when I voted Bernie Sanders.
I lost two friends that year, because they wanted Clinton.
Welp, we knew who voted for the right person back then.
Friend moved and changed his cell number at same time… I didn’t yet have his email so lost contact.
Found him years later at a random shop, got his new contact info and still besties today :)
Cocaine laced with fentanyl. OD’d in the bathtub. Wasn’t even (remotely) a regular user; just having a little extra fun on New Years. Was about to finalize the adoption of his and his wife’s baby girl too
Another one from alcohol, fell asleep in the bath
Another one from an undiagnosed heart condition
Another from a peritoneal infection from peritoneal dialysis (they had sickle cell)
My sister from benzos and falling asleep in the bath
All of them in their 30’s. Been a difficult few years of losing friends/family for me, ngl
That’s really rough. I hope you are doing OK and taking care of yourself.
Good lord what a hand you’ve been dealt. My sympathies.
Back in primary school (end of 1997), my best friend went to a different high school the next year and we never spoke again.
I was in the military and was friends with a guy I worked with. When I got promoted I changed positions, so I didn’t see him much at work, but we still hung out outside of work often.
One day he did something that could have gotten him in a lot of trouble. I was the only NCO (Sargent) around when it happened. My supervisor offered to take care of the punishment himself because he knew we were friends. I said no, he’s my friend, I witnessed it, so I’ll take care of it. Plus I was able to convince them to just give him some paperwork, instead of more severe punishment he could have had.
I took him into a private area, explained what he did wrong and that he was only getting paperwork. He didn’t say a word, just signed it and walked out. I tried to go talk to him after work and his roommate came out calling me all sorts of names, asking how I could do that to him, and how I was a power tripping asshole, on and on. I asked if I could talk to my friend and explain and he told me my friend requested I never come back over.
I was at that base another year and he never talked to me again.
neglect
I don’t think there’s a reason, which I think is the saddest reason. Growing up and drifting apart. Tried many times to fire up conversations but don’t know where to start.
If that’s the case, my gut feeling is you may have been friends out of convenience. For friends I haven’t talked to in decades; we pick up like no time has passed at all.
Nah these things are funny like that you can end up just like this with very close friends, it’s not inevitable but you also can’t reasonably predict which friendships are like the ones you describe that can survive a long hibernation and ones that for all the will in the world enter a freeze from which they never fully thaw.
Worst example is friend who, after being hospitalized for accident while car surfing, died car surfing again. I wasn’t present for either event.
Second worst is dude with head injury (unrelated) started talking about crystals and toxins and juice fasting. Called him out one day, and it was catastrophic. This one is still alive, at least AFAIK.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
When my ex- and I were going through a divorce, they didn’t want me to say anything publicly at all. They were insistent that it wasn’t anyone else’s business, and since I was trying to make the process as painless as possible, I assumed that this was a good-faith request.
I was wrong.
I was being silent, and they were telling everyone a load of horseshit about me, and bad-mouthing me in public to every single one of our mutual friends. I lost all but one of our mutual friends; my silence was assumed to be an admission of guilt.
I’m so sorry. I strongly suspect this happened to me as well. To this day I’ve never mentioned the evidence I had of her infidelity to anyone, because I’m a better person that she is. My former friends likely discovered this for themselves in due course.
Good friend, helped me through my parents long divorce. I moved abroad and got a bit lonely out there. Him and his then longterm gf who I was also good friends with had planned to come out and see me.
They then split shortly before. I wanted to be friends with both of them, but if I’m honest with myself, I thought the gf had feelings for me, as her texts to me were getting very high in emoji content. I encouraged them both to come separately and my friend said that our friendship was over if his ex comes to visit me. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself.
He didn’t visit, she did. Nothing happened but there were clearly mixed messages on my side. Lost two good friends in one go.
Have made a few good friends since then, but I do miss him and that social circle a lot. I surprisingly haven’t learned to not take liberties in friendship circles, but I’m trying to learn.
Lost (sent away) two who tried to ‘date’ my husband.
He chased a ball into the street.
