The world of Linuxia beckons you! Your annoying guide flexes their gear the moment you spawn
Gentoo USB (Rare):
=> USE flags: Can rebuild itself
with or without the other
three attributes
=> March native: Increases attack
speed by 1% or -1%
=> Slot: Can use two versions of any
attribute at the same time
=> PGO: The USB memorizes when you
attack to increase speed, trading
off for lower speed elsewhen.
Requires two rebuilds.
Charm of systemd (common):
=> nspawn: Can build with deeper focus
=> Wisdom tax: The wise are less
likely to feel neutral toward you
(+2 or -2 charisma)
=> Chant of systemd: By chanting
'systemd-analyze calendar "Fri *-*-13"',
the caster instantly knows when
the next Friday the 13th is.
Let’s have some fun! Spells, items, and dungeons oh my!
Quest: Kali Bandits
The Kali have been terrorizing villages across Linuxia. I beg you, young traveler, help us fight them off. I’ll reward you with riches beyond compare!
Objective: Protect the village from the Kali bandits.
Reward: +500 gold
Our party peers over the gate and sees…
Kali Bandit (Level 3)
A script kiddie. Lots spawn at once.
STR: 3 (+7 during practice combat)
DEX: 3
CON: 5 (-4 when angry)
INT: 4
WIS: 1
CHA: 1Kali Mercenary (Level 9)
Uses Kali for work. Well-balanced, but weakened because the company hasn’t had a security incident anyway.
STR: 8 (+15 when fighting Kali Bandit)
DEX: 9
CON: 10 (-2 when teammate gets phished)
INT: 12
WIS: 12
CHA: 8 (-2 when dealing with the one paying for them)17 year old with Amazon fire stick (Level 12)
The judge prohibited them from touching computers.
STR: 7 (+3 if he gets SSH running…)
DEX: 8
CON: 12 (+1 from the big house)
INT: 16
WIS: 7
CHA: 9 (-2 when dealing with Nvidia)
Sigil of Motif (rare)
- +2 to disguise, if you are attempting to pass for 20 years older than you are
- Stacks with Cape of fvwm
Warhammer of cfdisk (common)
- Cannot be dodged
- Roll 1d10. On critical fail, smash yourself with warhammer for 5d4 damage.
edit: Motif, huh? c;
disk parting o(╥﹏╥)o
Reminds us of all the little run-ins…
The Double D (common)
- Active: Chant to erase a small space into nothingness. Inventory disappears if you slightly mispronounce (nat20 < 2)
- Passive: Keychains are easier to prepare.
Void heart (rare)
- counters charm of systemd
- sanity decreases with time
- +2 con
Hmmm… shaw to you too, shark fucker 420
Charm of Kingsoul (rare): => No cost too great: User mana slowly refills while using an uncommon init system. Buffs from charm of systemd become negative. => No mind to think: Charm uses 5 inventory slots, but gives +1 WIS on wisdom saves => No will to break: User can choose to sacrifice charm and obtain Void Heart.
Common Debian Swirl
Adds stability buff but forces user to wait 4 turns before enhancing any item, weapon or spell.
As consumable ice cream, of course 𖦹°‧🍨🍦🍧🍨𖦹°‧
You need the Flatpak buff. It allows you to avoid the 4 turn wait time.
But it reduces your initiative by 4 in the first combat round, and doubles the weight of all enhanced items.Doesn’t work well with my play style, and some of those Flatpak expansion sets are officially licensed.
The blessing of selhosting
Your pursuit for digital soverignity has come to an end- Server maintenance: lose one bonus action per round
- Media server of pirated movies: gain one random spell roll at the start of your turn when in combat
- Tales of docker: Frighten a creature for 2 rounds, but lose 1 Charisma for 10 rounds
- Tailscale: spend an action point to access your camp chest from anywhere
- Armour class: Apparmor (common)
- App confinement (+1 defence against app security issues)
- Glamour: Breezy plasma (common)
- Jewellery: Snappy apps (common)
- Rolling release apps with a stable base
- Ability to use multiple versions of any snappy app simultaneously
- Armour class: Apparmor (common)
Curse of NixOS
Immutable Distro - When making a roll, if the previous roll did not use this feature, you may use the dice value of the last roll you made.
Highly Configurable - You can swap one piece of equipment per turn as a free action.
Flake or Vanilla? - You must succeed on a DC 20 WIS save once every hour or be compelled to spend that hour respeccing your equipment loadout and retraining your skills, in an attempt to achieve the elusive state known as “best practice”.
Guess I’ll be chaotic evil and chase worst practices instead /ᐠ >ヮ<マ
Custom kernel (Accessory, rare):
- Must be crafted by the owner and cannot be sold, given away, or otherwise transferred. Sometimes explodes during the crafting process, causing unconsciousness and 2d6 damage.
- 10% attack and defense bonuses to weapons and armour that were equipped at the time of crafting, but -10% on new weapons and armour.
- Lightness grants +10 speed.
Blue fedora (uncommon)
- +10 armor
- +5 speed
Wand of btrfs (epic)
- snapshot: saves your current inventory
- restore (passive): on death restotes your inventory to a state saved by the snapshot spell
Ring of gnomes (common)
- summons up to 3 gnomes when health is below 10%
Bazzite region of Linuxia
As you stumble upon the neon-lit realm of the gaming regions of Linuxia, an NPC tosses you a gleaming ISO volume of wisdom.
Bootable Amulet of Bazzite (Rare) => Frame Surge: Boosts performance by 15% of all inventory in the Wayland dimension. => Steam Incantation: Casts “Protonic assimilation” for all loot in unexplored dungeons (+2 compatibility). => Artifact of Immutability: Auto-repairs equipment after a dungeon raid. => Weakness - Package Curse: Outside the gaming regions, productivity wanes (-2 chances of legendary packages when opening chests).
Spell: Vulkan Forge (Uncommon) => Instantly summons Vulkan-powered rendering. => Can crit for +20 FPS, but may randomly glitch on older drivers (-1 stability).
Dungeon: Library of Protonic Lore => Encounter: Boss-level incompatible game. => Loot: XP towards seamless gaming or… disappointment (roll d20).
Will you flash, or roll a crash?
Vulkan Forge is such a name, I’m surprised no software has taken it
btw u gotta add double spaces after line skips to make it a real line skip
This is a linux terminal tutorial, but in the style of a text based rpg.
Tumbleweed (common)
Just a weed, a rolling shrubbery, non-evil.
AURild of Greenmeadow (Weaponsmith, uncommon):
- roll a dice D6, 1-3 results in sword.bin 4-6 results in sword.git
- sword.bin gives 1 additional attack in your turn
- sword.git can be used after your second turn, but has damage +3
- everytime you visit Aurild: if you haven’t equipped “Tomb Wiki of Arch” get confused by oversupply (-1 wisdom), else gain 3 wisdom
I buy a new house. Everything looks great, I move in, go to bed. The next morning my hot water doesn’t work. The house’s documentation doesn’t cover this, so I go online. When I ask for help on forums people tell me to RTFM and call it a skill issue. I end up finding 500 different ways of fixing the hot water, filter through the 499 that don’t apply to my particular build. When I’m done the cold water doesn’t work either. I decide I’ll fix it later and head to the front door to go to work. It won’t open. Something I did trying to fix the water broke it somehow. I give up and just use the windows instead.
You may try immutable OS like NixOS. Modern-day kernel has way better hardware support than earlier days.
It absolutely does, compared to 2001ish when I first started playing around with Linux. But I had issues like this on Debian, earlier this year, on a Dell of all things which should use the most basic bone-stock drivers you can find. Draugr wouldn’t even boot after install on that machine.
For some reason, I cannot
git ye shell. All my attempts tobashmy way through anything fail miserably as well.This weird
Grub on a bootkeeps showing up and blocking my path.Fuck this game >:(
