I have heard from multiple people that eye contact is essential in letting a girl (or guy, I guess) know you’re interested.

But what is the 411 when it comes to said eye contact? Do you keep looking until she does? Do you then keep staring? Or is like looking at the sun? What’s the deal?

  • athairmor@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Eye contact is basic human communication of “I’m cool with you.” Don’t rely on it to express romantic interest. Avoiding eye contact can express a lot of things, most of them negative. Sure, you can express more with a look but it can come off creepy if you don’t have a rapport with that person.

    Make eye contact when talking to or listening to all people you like. That’s just basic social interaction. If you’re interested in someone romantically, tell them—ask them out.

    There’s no secret handshake or look. Talk to them.

    • Fat Tony@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      There’s no secret handshake or look. Talk to them.

      Oh absolutely, I’m just looking to make a spark (like making eye contact) and let my social skills be the fuel. Or not, if she’s not interested.

    • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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      2 days ago

      As far as I know I’m not autistic, but hate eye contact and just kinda decided to not worry about it? Eye contact is cultural anyway, and in some countries it’s unusual or rude so I guess I just decided it’s not that important to me. That’s one option!

      But for practical advice on improving if that’s what you want to strive for I find it’s easier to practice with someone you’re comfortable with. Looking between their eyes while talking casually. Not like staring, but reminding yourself to look up occasionally during conversation. And increasing the length of time you hold eye contact until it’s uncomfortable and look away. It’ll become more natural to you over time :)

      There’s also videos available on YouTube that are for practicing eye contact but I found them creepy. My mistake was probably smoking weed beforehand, so maybe don’t do that!

      Best of luck to you!

  • Moops@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    The trick is to never look away. Stare till they notice, then keep staring. Have to get up to use the restroom? Maintain eye contact as long as possible and reestablish it the moment you’re back in sight. If they get up, the responsibility to maintain that eye contact is on you. Make sure to stay within eyesight, following them if necessary. This is your chance, we’re rooting for you!

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    It’s not just eye contact, there’s all the rest of it too including other body language and how you’re speaking to someone.

    That said, I used to occasionally hang with a guy that chased all the girls (the kind of guy that would ignore you as soon as a girl he could be interested in showed up) and he would all but stare at her in conversation. Made me uncomfortable by proxy, lol. Seemed effective, but that’s what he did.

  • Shardikprime@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    First you need to approach in a non threatening way. Ideally, by shouting “I am bigger and stronger than you! If I wanted you dead, you’d be by now!”

    That way they know you are NOT a threat

    If possible, make them feel secure by brandishing a weapon of any kind. That way they know they WILL be safe near you

  • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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    3 days ago

    The idea is that y’all both Exchange a glance long enough to both notice, short enough to not creep each other out. A subtle smile to seal the deal.

    Then go say hi to confirm.

    If you feel awkward at any point either you suck or the answer is no, that’s where the real skills is at IMHO

      • NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Not OP but I’ll often rework what I’ve written and sometimes a word that was the start of a sentence is no longer the start, but fuck, doing it all on mobile can be a pain in the ass and I don’t always notice or bother to correct it.

  • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    My opinion is that nothing insincere works, and you’d better find that interest inside yourself and allow it to guide you. Even if you won’t manage a lot of eye contact.

    But admittedly I have a diagnosis and I don’t have a girlfriend.

    • Skeezix@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      find that interest inside yourself

      I looked in my asshole but found something else entirely. Where is can I look? What other spot can I pick?

  • Hikermick@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    There are plenty of videos out there on body language or “non verbal communication”. A common one which i picked up on long ago and to myself referred to as “the uppy/downy” look is what you want. It’s a clue someone MIGHT be into you when they make eye contact, look away (usually down), then make eye contact again. Allegedly they are checking you out, looking away, then looking to see if you’re still looking. It’s fair to say it works both ways.

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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    3 days ago

    All eye contact is “I am interested in you” eye contact.

    To do this, you look at the person’s eyes while they are looking at yours.