I’m 20F, he’s 25M. We met in January and have been dating since last month. He’s already met my parents - they love him, and he hangs out at our house all the time. Literally no one has any issues with him, he’s super welcome here. I invited him to sleep over for a few days this week just for fun, but he said he’s not comfortable with it - apparently it feels too “intimate” for him? Like, he’s got this thing about doing private stuff with other people around. I just want him to relax a bit. We’re all adults here, and everyone knows people have private lives. How can I help him feel more okay with it?

  • feelthepop@sh.itjust.worksOP
    61·
    1 天前

    Thanks. I really appreciate the advice. I’m just not an inhibited person at all, so I find it difficult to relate to these kinds of feelings.

    • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      11·
      1 天前

      And that is ok, you don’t have to personally understand it to acknowledge that his anxieties are valid and real. I wish you the best. It sounds like you have a good guy and good parents.

      Just channel that inhibition towards traditional exhibitionism instead of parental exhibitionism, and I think you’ll be set.

    • naught101@lemmy.world
      5·
      1 天前

      Personally I think @WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com’s take is a bit prescriptive, but I do think that if you want a good long-term relationship, then it’s about finding what’s comfortable for both of you, not just for one of you. Boundary pushing can be OK, but usually only with prior consent or better some expression of desire… If either one of you pushes the other into doing something the other doesn’t really want, that’s probably not gonna pan out well in the long run. Listening (especially to the “why” part) and working together is important.