I have so many things I want to do but just can’t. Play a video game, read a book, take dog for walk, build a gadget I bought parts for, finish writing a song, finish building a computer… But no, I just sit there stuck. How do I get unstuck?
I have so many things I want to do but just can’t. Play a video game, read a book, take dog for walk, build a gadget I bought parts for, finish writing a song, finish building a computer… But no, I just sit there stuck. How do I get unstuck?
The struggle is real. I’ve tried lots of stuff, with variable rates of success. No clear method to solve this issue reliably, but a couple things you can try:
-make a quick list of 4 or 5 items you think you might want to do, rank them by time estimated to do them or get into them. Starting with a quick one often gets some juices going, and may make doing a more involved task easier to tackle. -pick something random, set a timer for 25 mins, and agree to yourself that regardless of progress or outcome, you’re going to mess with random task only for 25 mins. The short time limit allows your brain to counter the idea that you’ll be wasting time if the task isn’t the right one and missing out on the opportunity to do a more fun engaging activity. Limiting distraction devices, depending on what you’re trying to get into here, can be helpful to avoid distraction -if other things aren’t working, and the paralysis is there, I often decide that I need to move somewhere else, or lie down for a shorting, etc. basically you tell yourself “you don’t have to do anything, but you can’t just sit here spinning or thinking about it—take a Nap or a lie down and do breathing exercises for 10 mins. Sometimes after doing this, changing location/and mental spiral process, I’ll find I have the juice to actually start something. -along the same lines, have a couple of neutral but basically “always beneficial” activities in your head that you can use as a way to shake things up. Going for a quick walk will almost never be a useless act (you get exercise, maybe daylight or some greenery, your eyes get to focus on stuff farther away than 3’) or playing with a pet. I often find no matter what I’m spinning about a walk or something physical activity can help change things up and reset my mental state a bit, and if not, well I still did something beneficial for myself; I got some movement in. -the pet one reminds me; often having an activity that involves another creature, whether human or animal, can be motivating. I might not be able to motivate to go for a walk on my own, but when I combine it with the fact that my dog will enjoy and needs to go outside, that can throw it over the threshold. -standard advice about breaking things into smaller parts—if you really want to set up that new gadget, but you constantly do like me and imaging that the task can only be satisfyingly complete if you fully install, on figure and get it working precisely as want, you may avoid the activity because you intuitively understand that it’s unrealistic in the time you have. Instead, try telling yourself: just get it unboxed, and maybe plugged in. I can configure it other time.
-Alternatively if I have task I’m procrastinating on a lot, sometimes I try and grease the wheels so to speak—I agree that I’m not going to replace that faucet in the bathroom, but what I am agoing to do is go collect the tools I’ll need into a bucket, and place it congenitally so that when I do feel like tackling the faucet, I won’t wave off after getting overwhelmed thinking about the prep I have to do. -try visualizing why you want to do activity x. Sometimes these things can devolve to the level of chores, so that what was intended as a hobby/fun activity can begin to read as an obligation with shame attached “I never built that stupid model that I spent all that money on…” try to think of how doing the activiy might make you feel in a good way, or what skills you wanted to explore by doing it. That kind of reframing seems simple, but can sometimes be powerful in changing your approach. Also, sometimes you realize that you don’t really like the activity or want to do it, but feel obligated to continue sine you’re feeling shame about how you “never properly follow through”. I don’t advocate for just quitting things when they get challenging, but you simply can’t do everything., and some things just ain’t going to be your cup of tea. I joined a virtual flight sim squadron once, and while it was initially very neat and educational, I found myself starting to dread the scheduled get togethers. I stuck weeks longer than I should have out of a fear of “Being a quitter” until I finally realized that I was only showing up to not quit, not because I was enjoying my time. Once I realized that and ended my involvement in the activity, I felt such a huge relief… -when in doubt; cull. A lot of times my task-paralysis will spring from having too many things on my plate to choose from, or an unrealistic idea of what could be possible. I’ve been working on forcing myself to pare down, maybe. I started with 5 options, but since I know I can’t do all 5 things, I need to make the decision space smaller. You can try randomly moving stuff into the future, or do A/B testing: “if I had to chose between the first and second task, do I have a strong feeling between the two?” -if you feel discouraged and stagnant, take a moment and think back and see if you notice areas that youe improved with over time—maybe you astarted a hobby 3 years ago, and dipped in and out, and maybe you’re actually better at it you used to be. -and of course, the most important and sometimes hardest thing: let yourself off the hook. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do anything, and even if you stare at a wall for 30 minutes, that’s not a “waste” or useless. Work on reducing self-shame. Accept that you may have to rotate in and out of hobbies and activities to progress, and that that’s fine. Accept that this acceptance will always be a work in progress and you will likely never become the worlds number one swordsman or able to manipulate objects with telekinesis after mastering your mind by studying Buddhist meditation techniques. Whenever you can summon the awareness to do it, be kind to yourself.