I’m 42 (TransFemme). I work from home. Have precisely zero close friends and not even any real surface level friends that don’t live 4+ hours away. Acquaintances at best and none I can comfortably call upon when shit goes sideways. I have no family. They all have either passed or, like my original friend group, disowned me about a decade ago when I came out and transitioned. So no one to put on an “In case of emergency” contact form.
Work holds no meaning other than a paycheck. I don’t really feel a desire to improve a billionaire’s bank statement with my hard work.
It feels like I’m just going through the motions. Biding my time until the inevitable. I know I can’t be the only one. Heck some of y’all may even be flourishing after similar situations. For me? Everyday feels more lonely than the last.
How do y’all do it?
(No this isn’t an unalive myself cry for help. Yes I am in regular therapy. I just don’t have any other avenue for asking such things besides publicly here and some other socials)
EDIT to add: I live in very rural US and unfortunately moving is not an option for me at this time or anytime soon.
It ain’t easy. I’ve found this quote from CS Lewis to be true
“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
In other words, friendships are often about or around something. Work friends. Gaming friends. Etc. it’s 100000x easier to talk about something with a stranger and allow more personal things to trickle in.
I was just at PAX West and was waiting in line for an hour. The guy in front of me cracked a joke and I laughed and played along. I asked him if he attended cons a lot. Which led to ones he’d been to and favorite ones which led to the developers who had the best booths to favorite games to favorite movies. We chatted for an hour about stuff we liked. We had lots of similar interests in gaming, movies, etc.
This is where you need to have some interests to talk about and if you don’t, then you need to find some. Hiking, gaming, puzzles, whatever.
Don’t discount online friends too. Find a discord about something you like and just start participating
What about feelings? Shared values? Sadness over loved ones’ who have passed? Worry about the destiny of humanity? Don’t we already share a lot simply as human beings? 😅
Yes, of course. I’m just saying at the beginning of a friendship it often forms around something you both do or enjoy