My level of antagonism depends on how self-destructive brain wants to be.
Brain wants me to eat a whole cheesecake even though lactose doesn’t always agree with me. Okay, well, Brain wants me to be happy and also acquire those sweet, sweet calories, I respect that.
Brain wants me to vividly imagine sticking a knife in my belly while I’m chopping vegetables for dinner. Sorry Brain, you’re kind of a dick.
The brain runs predictive models like this as a diagnostic self-check. The fact that you react with disgust and disdain to its hypothetical presentation means you are functioning within operational parameters. Ideally, one might still have sufficient agency and executive function to recognize it’s NOT okay if you DON’T recoil in revulsion from these ideations. Like, when I checked myself into a psych ward 11 years ago after recognizing “Wait, picturing killing myself started feeling GOOD? Uh oh…”
My level of antagonism depends on how self-destructive brain wants to be.
Brain wants me to eat a whole cheesecake even though lactose doesn’t always agree with me. Okay, well, Brain wants me to be happy and also acquire those sweet, sweet calories, I respect that.
Brain wants me to vividly imagine sticking a knife in my belly while I’m chopping vegetables for dinner. Sorry Brain, you’re kind of a dick.
The call of the void…
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
The brain runs predictive models like this as a diagnostic self-check. The fact that you react with disgust and disdain to its hypothetical presentation means you are functioning within operational parameters. Ideally, one might still have sufficient agency and executive function to recognize it’s NOT okay if you DON’T recoil in revulsion from these ideations. Like, when I checked myself into a psych ward 11 years ago after recognizing “Wait, picturing killing myself started feeling GOOD? Uh oh…”
Imagine it’s a kitty that sometimes bites out of instinct, because it doesn’t know any better. But definetly not due to malice.