I made some off-hand comments on a post on 196 and didn’t realize they’d be taken the wrong way. I made a few more comments to help clarify my idea but caught a blanket ban from blahaj.zone with no warning or message.

https://lemmy.world/modlog?page=1&actionType=All&userId=588349

I’m mortified :( It’s never been my goal to make others feel bad online. I had a quibble with the wording on a meme and clumsily worded my idea of “Our differences shouldn’t be minimized because they make us special” was seen as transphobia/TERF rhetoric.

But with no prior warnings or even a message from a mod to ‘cool it’, I got banned from the entire instance. I love these communities (feel free to look at my 2.5 years of comment/post history) and I would like to be able to continue to participate.

So, is there a formalized method of ban appeal beyond messaging mods? Their instance has like 12, so I don’t want to spam them and have it seen as harassment.

  • curbstickle@anarchist.nexusEnglish
    0·
    13 days ago

    A bit about blahaj:

    this is a server that is very protective of our minority members and bigotry of any variety will be squashed with great prejudice.

    Embracing inclusion and acceptance means listening when people tell you who they are and what their needs are. It means not telling people that you know their experiences better than they do. It means not gatekeeping experiences of identities of others. It means no bigotry such as racism, sexism, anti LGBT commentary, ableism etc. It means doing your best to ensure that you don’t over-talk the voices of folk who don’t share your privileges.

    Now as far as this:

    I also recognize that I was on a meme sub and people aren’t there to defend their identity with a stranger - there’s a time and a place

    I would point out two things.

    One, that place will never be blahaj.

    Two, many will sit in stark disagreement with what you’ve said - myself included - because no one should ever have to defend their identity from a stranger. Its their identity, not yours, you putting things to a place of their defense means you are already in a position of attacking their identity. You are on the offensive.

    Thats never going to fly on blahaj, and I would really recommend you reflect on the meaning behind what you said before even considering messaging ada, or its just going to be a complete waste of time.

    • 🔍🦘🛎@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      0·
      13 days ago

      Thank you for this comment. I do hope that the instance continues to be an inclusive place for trans folks and their allies. I’d like to clarify that I didn’t intend to make anyone feel they needed to defend their identity; the fact that my message was poorly worded was the cause of that.
      Cards on the table, I’m someone many would consider an egg. I’m a cis male, but I’ve always felt more comfortable talking with women, and have always felt that I wished I’d been born female (I’ve never had dysphoria though). After a lot of discussions with the trans community, I came to see that I’m ultimately comfortable with who I am.
      So when I make statements to the tune of “It’s important to some people that their trans identity is recognized”, it comes from the heart. Again, I recognize that I initially worded that in probably the worst way, and I apologize sincerely to anyone I offended.

      • curbstickle@anarchist.nexusEnglish
        1·
        13 days ago

        Just to mention, your comments (that got you banned) were also deeply flawed logically.

        Cis-gendered men and women can be unable to have children. Your statement says that they are not men and are not women by the (incredibly flawed) definition you provided.

        I’d also note that the wording of your message was irrelevant, the meaning behind it was straight out of terftown, whether you recognized that then or now, it is what it is.

        What you consider yourself and what you’ve considered in the past is honestly irrelevant to me, and I hope you realize that my comments are not made in anger or frustration, but just as an explanation and a hope that you can do better going forward.