So, considering this is Lemmy I’ll clarify. I’m not talking about your neighbor who voted for Trump or your uncle who’s always been a dick. I’m talking about coming in contact with a deep down evil scary human. I’ve only met one that I can think of. When I was 12 or 13 I spent a ton of time at my best friends house. He lived on a big beautiful rural property with his dad, a few brothers and always one or two random dudes. His dad was a good electrician and a biker. So, he always had friends/associates hanging around. So one day I was staying over for a long weekend and we met a new guy his dad was housing for a week or two. Dude was a real full fledged nazi. Had a swastika under his eye and tats all over most of his body. He was from California I guess. He was “working” with my buddies dad for awhile. Anyway, the main interaction I had with him was when he pulled my friend and I in for a sermon. We were going to go hunt squirrels and do rural kid shit. He stopped us outside and had us sit on the porch. Spent about 20 minutes explaining all the things youd imagine a nazi explains. Moslty about catholics, jews and blacks. My friends dad came out after awhile and told him we didn’t need to hear that shit. He sent us away, but, I never forgot the look this dude had in his eyes. It was like the look of complete bordem mixed with extreme anger all the time.
Never met what I’d describe as a truly evil person, but definitely a lot of narcissistic people whose selfishness and lack of self awareness have caused numerous instances of wondering if they were in fact just evil people.
I find these people evil (like my ex wife) because they are aware when they want something. When they don’t you are nothing to them.
However, it’s not like they are clubbing baby seals or killing infants at the border. They just have opinions on life that clash with mine in a huge way. They generally don’t DO anything different than I do. They go to their jobs and take care of themselves and don’t hurt other people other than the occasional stupid opinion.
As much as I think the psychology is evil their actions are totally normal.
I think it blends the line a bit the more you know someone. There are selfish things that you can do without it being narcissistic and everyone can get to a point where from the outside it looks selfish, but context changes that calculation.
Whenever someone is selfish and throws me under the bus or asks for far more than what they give I try my best to come up with excuses for them. Usually this is the right approach and saves me from making an ass out of myself and allows me to “be there” for more people who truly need it, but sometimes I’m searching for that excuse so long or gaslight myself into thinking up a good excuse and I end up as a narcissist’s host for a while.
Personally, evil has to be clear, even when devoid of nuance or context.