Basically title, I participated in an interesting exchange over the past day or so, and it made me wonder what some of the more useful resources are for men to learn about their bodies, hormones, brains, emotions, support networks, etc.
So I’m interested in websites, forums, video series, books, whatever.
(Disclaimer: I am not male myself, which is why I’ve no idea, and am curious, but if this gains traction, I’d also just like to have this post be a resource. It’s good to periodically take stock of what’s out there.)
The manosphere is the biggest, most visible thing ‘for men’ anyone searching is likely to find. I’m not saying every sex-discrimination based division is innately bad, just that it’s best to be wary of individuals and organizations that try to claim that space. Many of them, and many of the most visible, are not really there for the benefit of the members. Heck, some of them start on one side of the line and then cross it at some point.
If the goal is to create a world where men feel they are emotionally supported, it would be better to seek a system/situation that enables men to be open with and supported by both men and women. It may be easier to start with a group that shares some identity marker, such as sex, but it creates a… misleading experience to have the supportive kindness in someone’s life come from men, or some other identity group, and risk the experience of women, or other outsiders to that identity group, being all/mostly/noticeably unsupportive strangers. Not everyone has the maturity to understand there might be a dynamic at play distorting their experiences. Nothing is innate to a ‘men only’ space that encourages that maturity, especially given the world’s dynamics with sex and gender as already in place. Thus, one must be very careful.
I appreciate your voice of caution.
To the second half of your comment, I think I’d propose we do not necessarily always need an asterisk on a male-specific support space. Yes, we should all support each other, but I think modern feminism and the good of the feminist movement has shown us that many, many decent men are quietly suffering just to get by, and not necessarily a part of the reactive toxic masculinity sphere. Perhaps finding the maturity for that balanced space where anyone can generally support any other still needs an interim step, slowly working towards a more centered place of generalised acceptance, and, dare I ask for it, calm.
It is also possible we’re talking past each other, but I felt it worth saying :)