I read some people who vent on their posts or talk about problems they face in life and the replies they get is, no you are the problem, fuck you.
On Reddit, the only thing that is close to this is when women complain about their boyfriends, they got told to leave them, whatever is her complaint about.
Any explanation?
Disclaimer: I am not talking about my own experiences here, but rather what I read in other posts, my observations could be wrong.
It’s a common trait of young people, often young men. I used to be one, guilty of it myself. “You’re the problem” stems from a lack of sympathy, because they haven’t had many bad things happen to them, emotional nuance, because they’re young, and lastly they’re taught to be independent and “solely responsible for their situations.” Therefore it’s extremely frustrating for people like this to care about others because someone who needs care is antithetical to what they’ve been taught, and they’re taking care of themselves so why can’t you, weak person?
I want to emphasize that people like this are not bad people. They are probably kind and caring and everything people should be, but they can’t stand people not taking care of themselves. They can learn, and I suspect most do when they get older.
so if someone keeps banging their head into a wall, and asks me why their head hurts, should i tell them how strong they are?
You could empathize with them, if they’re open to it then maybe ask why it keeps happening. You could also say nothing if it’s a stranger on the internet. If this person is important to you then yeah, tell better them how strong and brave they are and how stupid and mean that wall is. There’s a time and place for constructive criticism.
Who shouldn’t be taking care of themselves? Everybody and nobody. It’s supposed to work so that if you need help you get help and if you can help then you give help.
ok. give me $5000. I want to buy this thing. I need help to buy it.