Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella penned an AI-heavy blog post to close out 2025, leading to widespread mockery and a brand new moniker for the big M.
Imagine being in charge of one of the wealthiest corporations to have ever existed, and yet unwilling to write out a statement without a fucking llm
It must be hard to admit he spent billions on a slop machine. Sunk cost fallacy is probably one of many things they’re fighting.
It will become the norm. Our CEO uses ChatGPT a lot. He used it to write a Christmas email to the whole company. All of his correspondence it devoid of any personality.
Your company can save a lot of money by replacing him with an used laptop that only opens chatGPT on startup.
https://replaceyourboss.ai/ Be the change!
I’m sure the shareholders will be suuuuper happy to learn that Micropilot Copilot 365 Copilot Azure Copilot Copilot Teams Copilot is now on 111% of every WinCopilot install, which will totally mean great profits.
But just in case, let’s lay off 5-10% of our workforce again this quarter just to further drive home how profitable we are!
CEO proves that CEOs can be replaced by AI.
The company is now run by Copilot and its in charge of naming products.
The rdp client was renamed “Windows App”, remember? So this is a step up.
Microsoft can never name products… Xbox, Xbox 360, Xbox one, Xbox series x, Xbox series s… Hell I’m currently watching agdq and can’t tell you the best one, imagine a grandmother trying to buy a gift for her grandchild. Atleast it’s Playstation 1, Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Playstation 4, Playstation 5 obvious which one is newest. Or Windows 3.1, nt, 3.1 with workgroups, 95, 98, 2000, me, xp, 7, vista, 8, 10, 11…wtf?
Totally agree with you, but I would say that the original name made some sense. It used directx and the code name was directx box which became Xbox. Ideally edgy for the market at the time too, I think.
Despite being an avid gamer, I’m not even sure what the release order was after xbone. Being a grandparent or parent and doing it? Fuck that.
I didn’t consider direct x to Xbox connection but it makes sense… After the initial release it’s insane. You want to be next generations idea of gaming, make it understandable to a non-gamer cause they are likely buying it. Hell Nintendo entertainment system vs super Nintendo entertainment system… Which is better? Which will make your granddaughter or grandson happy?
Don’t forget the xbox one s and xbox one x, which were after the xbox one (the third xbox, not the first xbox), but before the xbox series s and xbox series x.
It’s probably a new manager for each iteration and they need to leave their mark by choosing a different name.
Yeah but the equivalent in the xbox series would be naming some of the games xbox too.
At least 2000 is both the largest number, and the best OS, in that group. :)
I tend to like every other one… 3.1, 98, 2000, xp, 7, 10…maybe 12?well see of the pattern continues.
I find Microsoft releases a good os… Gets drunk and comes up with crazy ideas… Refines ideas into usable os… Gets drunk and more crazy ideas… Repeat
The rdp client was renamed “Windows App”, remember?
Wait, let me say that this is not accurate without defending Microsoft (fuck them). The rdp client hasn’t been renamed, to my knowledge. What was renamed to Windows app was the other product very confusingly named “remote desktop client”, which was a Microsoft Store app meant to access things like Azure Virtual Desktop, their cloud Windows service, etc. Yes, incredibly confusing product naming from Microsoft, as usual.
Haha that is actually even more funny. :)
It’s so fucking bad.
I’m currently having an issue on my work machine where my Windows App doesn’t close properly, and will hang the next time I try to connect to a virtual desktop unless I kill it in the task manager.
Imagine the crazy vague answers you get when you search for “Windows App won’t close”.
Found Copilot randomly installed on my computer after the latest update. Couldn’t uninstall it fast enough
inb4 they name System32 to Copilot so you can’t delete it.
Watch me!
User has disconnected
I don’t understand why shareholders keep this guy’s CEO he’s absolutely terrible at his job. They need to go back to having an actual engineer as CEO, someone who understands what the hell is going on and doesn’t keep getting distracted by the next shiny bauble.
I don’t understand why shareholders keep this guy’s CEO he’s absolutely terrible at his job
What are you talking about? Under this guy’s tenure the MSFT share price skyrocketed. What else would shareholders care about? He’s doing an excellent job, as far as they’re concerned.
IMO, Satya isn’t the same anymore. His disabled child died, and he gave a speech about pushing forward to investors at the time but no longer cares about accessibility. Now, he’s got ai-induced psychosis so he doesn’t care about azure, office, Xbox, linkedin, GitHub, etc. Unless it has Copilot in it, because he’s invested in openAI.
Oh dear. That sounds like a super-villain origin story. “I just wanted to develop an AI capable of bringing back my dead child to life!” Another broken soul with too much power…
Mate, have you seen the valuation of companies handling AI or hardware that AI requires?
Shareholders are creaming their pants any time someone says “agentic” or “AI”.
But engineer don’t make dividends go up. Engineer know to reinvest, and stock holder sad not get more money.
He’s generating profit, that’s all that matters to the shareholders.
Is he?
No one is buying the Xbox, quite possibly because no one can tell if it’s a new generation or not. I don’t think any AI company has yet posted a profit. Market share for Linux has increased in the last 2 years and most of that is from people moving away from Windows.
Their business is B2B now. Nadella is focused on that, gaming is a nice side business to him, and the home user wasn’t profitable enough to care about keeping.
Right now my fortune 500 employer is all in on Microsoft, they pay for around 200,000 Microsoft business licenses and about 2/3’s of those PCs also have a 365 business license, plus they have Microsoft servers with their own individual licenses in every state and almost every country. And that’s just one company, think about how many companies are all in on Microsoft and you can see why B2B is what he cares about.
Their business is B2B now.
That and mass surveillance such as with Palestine and Microslop’s Azure used by Israel to obscure individual culpability in deciding who to murder next.
Are you being serious?
Have a look at the MSFT share price in 2014 when he took over ~$45/share and now ~$470/share - of course investors love him, he’s 10x their investments since he was appointed.
Share price and profit are two very different beasts and only really have a loose connection to one another. Plenty of companies lose money left and right but still have high share prices.
The share price is just what the stock market feels a company is worth. It’s almost 100% vibe-based.
I’m not sure what your point is, the investors care about the stock price because that’s their money in/money out. Lower profit could be fine if they’re, say, investing 150Bn/yr into a new venture that stands to be profitable in the future (may even drive the stock price up). It’s vibes based to a degree, quite a bit of analysis goes into a company’s performance as well.
FWIW their gross profit is also up more than 3x in the same time frame.
“Micro$haft” and “Micro$hit”, two former snarl names aimed at Microsoft, got a real challenger.
(The dollar signs are intentional.)
Why not both moment:
Micro$lop
fuckin’ brilliant.
Bravo 👏
If Microsoft is now Microslop, then the CEO should be called sloperator
the vice is the sloppy second
Copilot is Slopilot
it would be pretty interesting if Microsoft made the next version of Windows a Linux distro with a Windows emulation layer
With Edge running on top to render all user interface elements.
Edge running Chromium inside, loading windows web app from Microsoft website every startup
I just threw up a bit at the thought.
I think it’d be a full screen ai client app running on linux, probably on cage. why bother with the nt and win32 and whatever middlewares. linux is externally maintained. saved dev money can be used for power/ram bills instead.
That would never happen. The entire reason why Windows is not as power efficient as MacOS or some Linux distros is the backwards compatibility that it brings. People laugh at the fact that you can still find icons and .dlls from Windows 95 (or, probably, even 3), but that’s exactly one of the reasons why this OS is so massively popular, especially for enterprise users.
I’m sorry but this is just not true. The legacy support within Linux is insane and it’s one of the hallmarks of the operating system.
Linux has excellent legacy support for Linux.
Now run a 1998 obscure Windows vendor custom app. The vendor went out of business 30 years ago.
Not to mention that it would kill the entirety of existing IT automation, the entirety of centralised system management, and lots more.
Actually, Linux has better support for legacy Windows apps (through wine) than for legacy Linux apps.
I vote to forecfully rebrand them as Macrosoft.
Macroslop would be better
Do you know why it’s called MicroSoft? The founders and CEOs decided to name the company after their penises.
