In the case of ADHD at least, it comes with a lifetime of being told that you’re not trying hard enough, that you could do so much more if you just applied yourself, that it’s your fault that you’re distracted etc. And after a lifetime of internalising those sorts of comments, many folk find relief in knowing that actually, there’s a reason for all of it, and it’s not just that they’re lazy.
I lost count of how many times I was told I “wasn’t trying hard enough” or was “lazy” or was a “SpAcE cAdEt”.
When you’re repeatedly told things like that as a kid, you start to believe them.
Getting a diagnoses was vindicating because it meant all those people were dead wrong.
Broadly speaking, ADHD steals your ability to choose what you want to do, how you want to feel, etc. by taking away your ability to execute on those desires. Getting medicated didn’t magically fix everything but for the most part, it gave me back the power of choice.
Ironically, it was pretty much the opposite of my experience. My diagnosis was the first time I’ve ever felt fundamentally broken in a way that can’t be fixed, because I’d spent my life believing that if I got serious about it, I could do the things. It made me realise that it doesn’t matter how serious I get, it’s not going away.
But with time, even though that’s still true, the scale to which I was catastrophying it was over blown.
In the case of ADHD at least, it comes with a lifetime of being told that you’re not trying hard enough, that you could do so much more if you just applied yourself, that it’s your fault that you’re distracted etc. And after a lifetime of internalising those sorts of comments, many folk find relief in knowing that actually, there’s a reason for all of it, and it’s not just that they’re lazy.
I lost count of how many times I was told I “wasn’t trying hard enough” or was “lazy” or was a “SpAcE cAdEt”.
When you’re repeatedly told things like that as a kid, you start to believe them. Getting a diagnoses was vindicating because it meant all those people were dead wrong.
Broadly speaking, ADHD steals your ability to choose what you want to do, how you want to feel, etc. by taking away your ability to execute on those desires. Getting medicated didn’t magically fix everything but for the most part, it gave me back the power of choice.
It felt that way for me, and you start to live with a lot less stress after that.
Ironically, it was pretty much the opposite of my experience. My diagnosis was the first time I’ve ever felt fundamentally broken in a way that can’t be fixed, because I’d spent my life believing that if I got serious about it, I could do the things. It made me realise that it doesn’t matter how serious I get, it’s not going away.
But with time, even though that’s still true, the scale to which I was catastrophying it was over blown.
Sorry to hear that, for me accepting the fact that those expectations are not real has helped a lot. But still it feels awful!
I had a similar experience when I got diagnosed, wound up drinking quite heavily for a while immediately after it.