and if you do have access and they found out you used it to spy on your kids then you’re probably getting fired.

I mean that’s what they tell us, and they do a token firing for this shit every now and then, but every PO I’ve known has done blatantly illegal background checks on people for shits and giggles (not just digging through PACER for fun, using tools you and I can’t access) and felt comfortable enough doing them in front of me when I barely knew them.