I’m 23 years old, but I look 14. I always looked younger than my age, even when I was in school. I’m 167 cm, which is the standard female height where I live, so I guess it’s my face, something with the shape of the bones, I dont know. I am sincerely convinced that this is the main reason why men have never approached me. I’m also quite socially awkward and not very pretty, but that’s usually not a problem for other girls, so I think it all comes down to my child-like features. I’ve never seen men look at me with desire, or that they’ve ever been shy when talking to me. I feel completely desexualized and lonely and I suffer so much because of it. This problem sounds so stupid and absurd, but that’s what I’m dealing with… At the very least, it’s probably worth being glad that men aren’t so attracted to childish features in reality…
Sorry if this post is too messy, I don’t feel well while I’m writing this.
It does not. You’re feeling lonely, desexualized, maybe ostracized - that is tough, it sucks and it’s not stupid. Those feelings are valid and you’re suffering because of those feelings. When people say that their problems or their suffering isn’t worth mentioning or it’s minuscule I always counter that you can drown in an ocean or drown in a puddle, it doesn’t matter, your suffering is real. And when you say you’re feeling lonely - that is always serious, loneliness can be such a deep and heavy feeling that it’s hard to overstate.
If that’s you in your profile picture I would disagree, your eyes are stunningly beautiful. And if not I would still disagree without having ever seen you.
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, people are attracted to different things and sometimes people think some things about you are attractive that you don’t even know or think about.
We men are simple, but people in general are complicated. I may be that your young looks are a factor, it may even be a substantial factor, but it surely isn’t the only.
Men are self conscious too, especially younger men. Approaching someone romantically can be super intimidating and even if you can work up the courage, you still have to make your interest clear, I can’t count how often I was able to initiate contact but still failed miserably to convey my romantic intentions. And just because I don’t act or look shy when interacting with you doesn’t mean I am not terrified on the inside.
Your looks are only a part of who you are, looking very young might be a limiting factor for first contact in settings like bars or bigger social events but those are hook up situations and from what I’m reading from you I think it’s not what you need or want necessarily. You want to feel desired, but you also want to feel yourself. You want to feel less lonely. Those are things a hook up won’t fix, at least not lasting, trust me.
Like others mentioned, go out, meet new people, make friends, that will give you more self confidence and you will learn what is desirable about you, physically but also in your character. And once you’ve learned what is desirable and attractive or even admirable about you it will come easier, you learn how to play to.your strengths, what social setting suits you the best, how you make yourself approachable and most importantly - you’ll learn to love yourself for who you are and you will be happy with yourself.
I promise you, you won’t feel that way forever. You’re not there yet, but one day you will. It might not be tomorrow or next week, but it will come sooner or later. Hang in there stranger <3