Do not allow yourself to be persuaded, pressured, or bullied into having kids (including by yourself) until you feel 100% ready and that it’s 100% what you want. The days of “nobody feels ready for kids; just go for it and it’ll all work out” are way over. (This was always survivor bias bullshit advice, but with recent trends re: cost of living, housing availability, job market, etc., this attitude is straight-up reckless.)
When you’re young, even if you think you know what you’re doing, you’ll almost certainly make mistakes; having children makes moving through and moving on from those mistakes a hell of a lot harder. A sad number of folks I know in their 30s are stuck in places they no longer want to live having to regularly interact with people who ruined their lives because of their kids. Even when things go well, kids are a huge drain on your energy, finances, and ability to take advantage of new opportunities.
It might be scary feeling like there are too many options available to you right now, but being forced into a certain life path because you have kids is not a fun way to resolve that.
If you wait too long, it might become biologically impossible. Biologically, the best age for kids is between 20 and 35. After that, there is a sharp decline.
And there is never 100% readiness, nor 100% certainty that you want it. Especially not while you are that young.
A sad number of folks I know are in their 40s, and struggling to convince. They wanted to be 100% ready, then build a large family. And now it’s too late.
So if you are in a position where you can have kids, and think you want kids, you should probably go for it. Even if you aren’t 100% ready yet.
I haven’t seen this mentioned yet so:
Do not allow yourself to be persuaded, pressured, or bullied into having kids (including by yourself) until you feel 100% ready and that it’s 100% what you want. The days of “nobody feels ready for kids; just go for it and it’ll all work out” are way over. (This was always survivor bias bullshit advice, but with recent trends re: cost of living, housing availability, job market, etc., this attitude is straight-up reckless.)
When you’re young, even if you think you know what you’re doing, you’ll almost certainly make mistakes; having children makes moving through and moving on from those mistakes a hell of a lot harder. A sad number of folks I know in their 30s are stuck in places they no longer want to live having to regularly interact with people who ruined their lives because of their kids. Even when things go well, kids are a huge drain on your energy, finances, and ability to take advantage of new opportunities.
It might be scary feeling like there are too many options available to you right now, but being forced into a certain life path because you have kids is not a fun way to resolve that.
If you wait too long, it might become biologically impossible. Biologically, the best age for kids is between 20 and 35. After that, there is a sharp decline.
And there is never 100% readiness, nor 100% certainty that you want it. Especially not while you are that young.
A sad number of folks I know are in their 40s, and struggling to convince. They wanted to be 100% ready, then build a large family. And now it’s too late.
So if you are in a position where you can have kids, and think you want kids, you should probably go for it. Even if you aren’t 100% ready yet.