• TauZero@mander.xyz
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    18 hours ago

    Bidet - don’t need any fancy standalone appliance, just a $50 nozzle that goes under the toilet seat and plugs into the water hose. Haven’t paid a penny for toilet paper in 6 years.

    • MotoAsh@piefed.social
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      13 hours ago

      You definitely still need to wipe to be properly clean. Not only is it possible to miss spots with a bidet for uh … messier movements, but the water retains some particles. You’re not using soap, amd water will not perfectly remove everything.

      The tell is in the smell. If your ass still smells like an ass, it’s not fully clean.

      • TauZero@mander.xyz
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        11 hours ago

        Yes, the water perfectly removes everything and does not splash. I refused to believe it myself. TMI warning: for the first year in my disbelief I would test it personally, for science, by sticking a finger in for “first-hand” comparison. When using paper, no matter how much you wipe, afterwards, even if the finger looks clean, it still has a whiff of ass. Only a full shower after use would remove the whiff entirely. But after using the bidet, the finger looks clean and smells clean, so much so as if there isn’t even a need to wash the finger afterwards (though of course I did anyway). In summary: paper = never fully clean, bidet = fully clean.

        I think the difference in our bidet experiences is the water pressure. Mine is plugged directly into the water supply, and I have good water pressure, so the pressurized stream coming out is tight and powerful like a water pik. It took some getting used to. But it’s easy now and it scours everything. I fear a gabo-style bidet that pours instead of powerwashes (or a spraybottle like the one linked in this thread) would not be as thorough and might indeed require a follow-up wipe. But mine doesn’t.

        • MotoAsh@piefed.social
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          1 hour ago

          Nope, mine is also directly hooked up and not one of those stupid misting types. Frigging power washer.

          Maybe you have way less hair down there, or you somehow manage to eat enough fiber, or maybe you just don’t know what a truly clean asshole is, but let me tell you, water is NOT enough for many, many kinds of less than perfectly healthy movements.

          Also, the tell isn’t necessarily in the immediate smell. I should’ve specified a lot better: Water can trap particles that otherwise would get in the air. The real tell is later, after everything’s dry and your ass has been rubbing on your underpants for a while. If you can peel off your underpants and only smell normal sweat smell, that’s clean.

          As an analogy, think of how scientists test for the presence of bacteria. It’s not sampling a surface and taking a whiff. They let that shit grow in a petri dish first. That’s what you’re doing with your ass at all times. Sniffing it right after is akin to sniffing the raw sample, when your ass is going to be the petri dish either way.

      • TauZero@mander.xyz
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        18 hours ago

        You’d think so! right? But instead it is the idea of smearing shit on your ass with your fingers and a piece of paper that now sounds uncomfortable to me. This is the “completely changed your life” element of it. I’ve been using paper for decades no problem, but now I hate pooping outside of home because there is no bidet there. Beware!

      • bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        18 hours ago

        Maybe they have a fancy bidet with a blower? Or they horded toilet paper during COVID and are working through the surplus? You do pretty much have to dry somehow, but the amount of TP needed to dry a wet asshole is significantly less than cleaning a shitty asshole.

    • FaceDeer@fedia.io
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      14 hours ago

      Heh, thirding bidet. I’m still working through the stock of toilet paper I bought as a joke when Covid first hit and everyone was panicking about toilet paper, I bought the bidet right after that and realized I’d be taking a looong time getting through that.

      It’s handy for lots of other stuff too, if I ever need to quickly rinse something the bathtub’s right next to the toilet so I can hold it there and give it a blast.

      • datavoid@sh.itjust.works
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        14 hours ago

        I remember back when people were posting pictures to shame the idiots at Costco who were panicking and buying all the toilet paper before anyone else could…

        What I’m trying to say is that’s a “hilarious” joke!