• wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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    2 days ago

    Yes! And then whenever an online community springs up centering around solidarity, peer support, or advocacy pertaining to the common mental disorder, the same crowd who complains about avocado toast and rotisserie chicken get up in arms about “labels” becoming a “trend.”

    Like, no it’s not a fucking trend. Some people deal with these illnesses every fucking day, and it’s totally okay for them to talk about it online with other people who understand the experience. Outsiders looking in just think they’re conforming to what the internet says about the traits, but the reality is that some people have these traits and have to live with them every day.

    Clusters of traits get identified by researchers and standardized in the DSM, and that gives people the language and toolkit they need to understand themselves and talk about it with others. It’s descriptive rather than prescriptive.

    These descriptions pop up online because that’s what some people experience. People aren’t retrofitting their experience just to conform to an internet trope, like some folks claim. But someone who hasn’t experienced that or been close to someone who has will never understand that.

    And unfortunately, some people who are close to someone with a mental disorder are still skeptical and dismissive of them. It’s really frustrating, and damaging too, because it’s essentially gaslighting someone who’s already mentally ill by saying they’re actually fine and just need to stop being annoying, suck it up and “just be normal.” For fuck’s sake!

    • toad@sh.itjust.works
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      20 hours ago

      Yeah my grandma couldn’t keep her key for the life of her. It makes me sad to think she spent her whole life not knowing what was happening to her.

    • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      The best part is how it can cause one to develop any of a number of co-morbid mental issues and then those people will see that and try and force the adhd person to cure what is essentially a symptom of the adhd they won’t acknowledge.

      As someone presumably older than you, I would urge people in that situation to separate from those people. The lonilness of your own mind is superior to their toxicity. Take the time to find yourself as you are without these people loading you up with self doubt.

      Most adhd people find adhd, true adhd people make the easiest friends. Find those people, they will not doubt you. Any reject yours and their adhd would clearly be suffering from one of those co-morbids.

      • rozwud@beehaw.org
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        16 hours ago

        So much this! I was in therapy for depression. I had no idea that I had ADHD, just internalized the stuff about being lazy, not trying hard enough, etc. Then I eventually got a therapist who has ADHD. She started sprinkling in stories from her own life, and every time I was like “OMG, I relate so hard to that!” Eventually she was like, “Sooo have you considered…?”