When I was 8, I remember being bored and curious and touching a lot of parents stuff… phones… wallets… legal documents…
Most parents don’t put their stuff in safes…
Like… THE WALLET IS RIGHT THERE… I COULD JUST GRAB IT!
If they had age verification stuff back then… I could’ve just… quickly snap a pic of their ID and just YOLO it…
I’m more worried about losing the memories I have right now this moment.
Like… what if future me decides to go no contact…
Then mom find a sketchy mad scientist to kidnap me then brainwash me
Then me, not having the memories of all those abusive moments, I’d go back and wanna talk to her again?
I don’t even know if I am really who I am anymore…
Are those memories of us spending time together even real? Is the memories of cuddling ever real? Was love ever real?
Why do I have this craving for her affection? Even while I’m so anxious and afraid of her?
What the fuck is happening in my brain?
Aaaaaahhhh