Just being comfortable and peaceful when nothing is evidently wrong. People taking things for granted bothers me because I can’t. Permanent fight or flight.
Eating.
I’ve always liked to eat. And I haven’t been impoverished for years now. But even though I was only homeless and impoverished for a little over a year, it destroyed my relationship with food.
If I have food in front of me, I have to eat it. My brain is convinced I might not have anything else to eat for an unknown amount of time and so I need to eat as much as I can while it’s available.
I can recognize that this is not true, and actively stop myself. But it’s an active intervention every time, and it’s exhausting.
My grandmother grew up during the great depression. We’re not the worst off, yet, my twin works at a grocery so we get a discount. But that shit was passed down to me. I can’t not finish food. Especially if it tastes good, my brain is just EAT NOW EAT BEFORE GONE and man. Fucks a body up.
I grew up the exact way you’re describing. It’s a struggle I’m working on right now. Best of luck to
Traveling to cities.
These days I can’t think of a time I haven’t gone into a city and seen people begging at intersections, signs with sad stories, etc. Really wish there was more I could do to help them get back on their feet but also have to be weary of the fact that some of them are just posing and scamming.
but also have to be weary of the fact that some of them are just posing and scamming.
The amount of people doing this is infinitesimal compared to the actual homeless population. This is basically a right-wing talking point to undercut empathy with people who are experiencing homelessness.
Also you should never feel bad for not giving a panhandler money, but if you feel called to do more, just find an organization to volunteer with. There are people facing homelessness right now or in the near future in every urban and rural area in the US
And lots/most of them aren’t.
panhandlers may not even be actually poor themselves, and some actually refuse to work or get help(the worst ones are probably upper middle class with no job), that delegitimizes the actual downtrodden people.
I’m not sure why you’re downvoted.
I live in a country where I make roughly 85€ per day. My job is close to a mall in a touristy area and there is this woman, clearly foreign-looking (adds to the “I can’t work” aesthetic), begging with a little board claiming she has 4 kids and needs to feed them.
Thousands of people walk into and out of that mall every day, and I’ve seen that woman get money from begging several times, 5€ bills and shit.
Months later she’s still there. Makes me wonder, with that amount of money people are handing out, she’s probably making more money than me in a day just from sitting on her ass.
For me it’s the sound of rain on a rooftop. First thing is internal panic as I wonder if all the buckets are in place, and dreading the prospect of discovering a new leak. Then wondering how long before the roof collapses. Worrying about how I could possibly cough up the money for a new roof, and worrying about being forced to suddenly move out into a bad situation… again.
I wasn’t even consciously aware I felt this exact way until I read this comment, living in a shitbox where it rains 160 days of the year will do a number on you
Playing video games. I have no time or patience anymore to enjoy playing, it just feels like I’m wasting my time and losing money. I’m not in poverty, but most of my waking hours during the week days are spent working. I feel like to do a lot of things I used to enjoy I would have to be paid to do it.
Taking days off work. My housemate works from home so when I’m off I still have to be respectful of that fact and not do anything too loud when he’s on the phone. Wouldn’t be an issue if I could afford to live alone. Also just never being able to be really alone because they never seem to go out while I’m home fucking sucks.
Leaving the house.
I used to take my family out to do things like go to the zoo or the movies and get some dinner while we’re out, but with the prices how they are, we can only afford to go out for dinner once or twice a month, let alone tickets for anything.
This hits. I used to love hiking. I used to hike all the time. It’s free. But I have to drive there. That takes fuel. And the more I drive my car, the more likely it is that something on it will break. I can’t afford a repair bill right now, and I can’t afford to be without a car. I have a one hour commute to work with no public transportation available, and I have zero friends or family to help me, so if I’m without a car, I can’t get to work, now I lose my job, I can’t pay rent and lose my home, and I’m homeless.
All I want to do is go back to hiking to relieve some of the anxiety of life, but just thinking about it sends me into a doom spiral of “what if something happens and you ruin your life because you wanted to go walk in the woods”.
Spending money in pretty much any capacity. My financial situation is a good bit better than before; so I do have money to spend on non-essentials, but it’s a struggle every time.
Last week me and my partner went to an aquarium, it was $50 a head for admission. I paid the $100 and spent the next 10 mins pretending to enjoy the aquarium while I ran the numbers in my head to make sure this expense wasn’t going to be the end of me. The anxiety never really went away and as we left I checked my bank account and my budget. I still had like $600 of unallocated funds.
Every time my friends want to do anything that would cost me over $20, I’m apprehensive and I get serious anxiety if I spend $20+ more than like 3 times a week. It’s exhausting.
Here is what I do: Host your friends at your place for sports, grilling, video games, playing touch football or soccer in your backyard, etc. Much better activities, make memories, and a lot cheaper, more intimate, and better for everyone’s relationship.
Ah unfortunately that would require a place more substantial than a small bedroom in my dad’s apartment 40 minutes out in the boonies. So I have to essentially wait for my ADHD friends to make plans at their bigger places, which is pretty infrequent since they’re way more happy just hanging out on discord every night than I am.
How do you feel about D&D?
