• Dicska@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    My name is Low Sleep Stress Coffee Cream Cheese Shit Hubert, and I live in a cave, and take 12 seconds to poop and 11 hours 59 minutes 48 seconds to wipe per working day and I am an outlier and should not be counted in the averaged data.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      My name is Diarrhea Vaclav and i live in a cave. I eat nothing but haribo candles. I take half a second to poop but the next wave starts immediately so if i move from the toilet, i leave a slime trail. I spend 23 hours, 17 minutes a day pooping (the remaining 43 minutes are Vaclav’s time) and don’t know when it began or ended anymore. My only hope for relief is that i am counted as an outlier and released from the study.